Yes, it had nothing to do with the other thing with pictures, but I have this fear that someone is .. following me or stalking me, I know it sounds irrational. Yesterday in a shop some guys were making jokes and laughed and I got scared and then I noticed they were laughing at their coworker. when I’m at home I imagine someone maybe sees me through my  window and I turn off the lights. I have this fear of someone stalking me, I don’t know why. It overwhelms me.

Anita, I’ve read your reply a couple of times already, I think I understand. I will definitely proceed with the mindful way of life, as the “micro” one with managing thoughts has helped me a lot. The thoughts are the most dangerous in my case,  worse than the danger of something happening. the situation with pregnancy as I now think of it, it was 5 months after having an intercourse and I visited 3 doctors during that time because I was sure I was pregnant. No amount of reason would persuade me, not even the fact that it would be shown by this time (5 months), or that I had absolutely no symptoms. I spent hours daily googling pregnancy websites. The were times when I said to myself  “how in the world it would be possible, it would be one of those miracles they describe in the news “. But I didn’t “listen” to my own reasons. It didn’t even matter that the chances are almost zero. If I shown you my photo from that time versus how I look now, you would be scared how skinny and unhealthy I looked. I don’t want to go through this again I really can’t do it again.

I’m thinking about getting medication. I don’t want to because I used to take Xanax and was addictive, like a drug. It saved me from going insane when I was going through tough time once because I slept better, I ate, I didn’t think that much before going to bed but I was careless, hurt and ignored some of my friends at that time etc. But maybe if I would use it wise this time it would help. What do you think? I really would prefer that the tools you have shown me (meditation practice, mindfulness) to help me. I would prefer that, if only there is a chance for me.  Do you think I can overcome this ?

I played Mark W Mindfulness guided meditation and in the middle I paused to meditated for a few minutes and then listened to the end. It helped, maybe it’s even better than meditating alone. I don’t know what would be better – to read a book or watch a movie, or to continue meditating. I feel better but I’m still scared of panic coming.

Anita, thanks a lot for that, I’m trying to calm down for past few hours , I haven’t eaten anything and can’t stop worrying. I keep telling myself it would be really weird that even if they saw my pictures they would remember my face AND recognize me immediately. I don’t know maybe I looked my someone they both knew and they were discussing that. what do you think? They obviously said she doesn’t have that skinny face. (they didn’t say she doesn’t have that skinny face “anymore” – I remember now.) So maybe it was about some girl who is similar.

No, I dont think there is a way to check if my photos are online. But you are right that he probably got many pictures from other girls, now I’m trying  to remember what I have sent to him and I’m pretty sure almost all of them were without visible face because I kind of kept it in mind that it’s dangerous but I might have sent 1 or 2 with my face. I’m pretty sure I did.And yes of course I will not do that again, I never did ever since and never wanted to, just with this guy, he talked me into it. I really regret it. There was a time we spoke after this and we were “friends” for couple of years but the way we ended things I cannot trust he is a good person anymore. I also blocked him on social media some time ago. I googled what to do and someone said that if there isn’t my name or city on it then it will probably get lost among other pictures. It’s so hard to calm down, I cant think clearly, I’m starting to feel obsessed about it. I feel really anxious and can’t calm down