Hi,  Chloe!

I was just drawn back here to this conversation and saw your post.

I totally relate to what you said–the devastation, the confusion, the constant questioning yourself, the loss of interest in life. I find myself in the darkest place I’ve ever been.

You’re right that letting go is what we have to do. People who “ghost” have a level of immaturity and inability to cope with conflict, or even simply difficult conversations, which pretty much precludes getting any closure from them. Psychologists seem to agree that we–the ghostees–have to find some way to move on without answers to our absolutely valid questions. But it’s incredibly hard, isn’t it?  Psychologists label ghosting as a cruel and torturous act. That’s part of what’s so hard–we wonder why we were singled out for torture…

Not that it really helps, but I think the answer is usually more about the ghoster than the ghostee. I know that Draughn really has a problem with conflict in an emotional setting. He knew how much I love and admire him and how shocked I would be by his leaving, so he took the path of least resistance for him. It’s sad and hard to understand because he is generally a very brave man. Too bad he took the coward’s way out when my heart and emotional well-being were at stake.

I’m sorry for your loss, Chloe, but I’m glad that, as you said, we can support one another as we take steps toward healing.