I forgot to mention…

You are right, the dishonesty is there with my husband. I should relieve him but I have just started communicating to him abt my past. I will convey him but slowly. I need lot of courage.

I am resigning because I think if I go away from him, it will be easy for me to get detached. When he is in front of me the entire day every day I aught to be wanting his attention all the time. And now when I can sense the end of this relationship…I would rather stay away rather than finding reason to not confront him.

Dear Anita,

Hope all well with you. I have been very busy at work last 4 days and have been going through hell as well. There happened 2 events which has completely moved me.
One: me n my bf had been for an event and he danced wid a colleague of us. I was zapped bcoz in last 4 yrs of my work with him and so many events we were together, he never danced with me. I was jealous and angry. After that when he came to talk to me, I had an angry look n he got upset n walked away from there. I dint say a word bt I could NT put a fake smile n respond him. After 15 mins when I dint see him around, I mssgd him to know where he is. He started the fight saying what I did was nonsense n my madness continues n will never stop. He wrote no one has ever spoken to him n behaved the way I did and he wrote humiliatimg words….Anita I felt treated like a slut that I can’t even get angry or hurt. I replied what I felt….I replied I was jealous bt and that conversation fight ended on a very terrible note. I am not guilty of what made me upset. I haven’t gone in front of him since and NXT day wrote to him that I want to resign as I don’t want to work where ppl don’t respect me.
Two:
I was feeling devastated after the above incident…My husband came to me and asked how it was. I don’t answer but my eyes were teary. I told him that I want to go for Buddhism course (which he dint want me to and he had yelled saying not going anywhere). In that flow of telling him I told him abt my childhood and how alone I feel. I dint tell him abt my ex bf and current bf also. But told him abt my childhood and the painful memories I have abt then.he was listening to me and was empathic. I told him because no one ever loved me in my childhood and my parents wanted me to get married to someone unknown, I chose to marry you and that’s why I married u. He said he will support me to get out of the pain and promised me nt to pressurize abt having a child till I feel like.
Anita, I am going through a rollercoaster of emotions. I don’t feel like going to work today bt have to go. My bf has not replied after I mentioned that I wish to resign. I feel like a looser and humiliated.

Dear Anita,

Unhappy will be an inappropriate word. I will say I am not comfortable working where he is there. I can face challenges for the change. I can get a good job in 6-10 months.

Dear Anita,

Thankyou for your help and advice. I think you are right. I have no hopes from my married husband and parents. What all I have is from my married lover. Yea, you are right he is not fully available for me. I think I should walk away. That’s the most difficult thing to do for me. This man has made my career and what I am today is because of him. It’s difficult for him also to let me go but he will not loose as much I I will. He has his source of love…His family and his friends. I have given up on my friends and family fo him every time. I will try to get out of it, like I tried last week but he was sweet when I was quite. Don’t know how will I do this, it’s like cutting your own hand with knife. It’s that painful. I will try.

Anita, since last 4 days I have been telling my bf that how he can help me feel fulfilled and loved. One evening he expressed that he loves me and misses me all the time. He sent a quote image which said that. He never sent that in last 5 years. I was touched n thought should give him a chance.we discussed about how his no communication/ less communication has affected me. How I feel lonely and rejected and unwanted. He said he will try his best to improve. One day he was good and taking care. He also said that one of his friend also said he does not express himself so ppl think that he does not care.even his actions don’t show that.
Next day we were out for a businesee meeting and we spoke few things abt the same topic. I knew he doesn’t like to have serious talks and that day he proved that. He din’t want to discuss and kept on saying I am not been able to keep your expectations. I also shared 2 links of tinybuddha articles on how communicatiom is imp in our relationship and how will it improve the relationship. It was all good that day, we din’t get intimate. I was most happy that he took it in a good way. Next day was 31st and a holiday. He was in touch whole day. Wished me by messaging. Then on 1st Jan, he got busy, I dint disturb him till afternoon. But when I was trying to talk to him, I was in my flow when suddenly he said let’s sleep. I felt Rejected so we had arguments. I expressed that I felt rejected when he said that. He got irritated and slept. I still continued messaging.when he got up, He became more upset and said u do whatever you want to do. I again felt rejected. I know I over-reacted.but he said he is fed up of me complaining all the time. I asked what are the complains….He said u keep on complainimg abt me avoiding you, me ignoring you ,not appreciating and not communicating. I got blank. I said OK, let’s not mssg each other and talk only when we meet in person. So that I won’t have any expectations from you and won’t wait for you to mssg. He dint reply. He was upset. The whole situation failed.
Anita, I want to become independent ya. I know I have very basic expectations from him but because he not keeping those I am feeling I. Becoming anxious and clingy…..Needy and desperate. Plz advice me on some strict rules of not being needy and desperate. Plz help me to be independent emotionally. Thankyou.

• This reply was modified 7 years, 10 months ago by Andrea simoes.
• This reply was modified 7 years, 10 months ago by Andrea simoes.

Wishing you all a happy new year

Dear all,

Wishing you all a happy new year