Dear Anita,

I started cutting when I was 13, things had been going bad with my friend group in middle school and we were constantly at each other’s throats and putting each other down. I would cut my thighs instead of my wrists because it was less noticeable, I did stop eventually once entering high school. The thought was always there in the back of my mind however when I started to feel down.

I went through another brief period of self harm when I had a falling out with a roommate due to some boyfriend and boundary communications troubles on both of our ends, I should have put my foot down when she wanted her boyfriend to live with us rent free but I didn’t and the resentment built up. This time it was with edges that were sharp enough to scrape and raise the skin but not slice it and once again on the legs. Eventually this stopped when I went to work for Disney. I haven’t cut since then and its been five years but like before the idea of self harm sits in the back of my mind. I’ve been thinking about it more lately because lately my mind has also been drudging up past regrets and mistakes and reminding me that I’m not where I wanted to be in life at this age which is causing my anxiety and depression to flare like crazy. I’ve taken to rubbing my hair tie against my wrist in times like this and it seems to help.