Hi Alexandria,
I’m in very much the same boat, it hurts a lot and I see him everywhere and there’s so many painful reminders everywhere I go
I pass him every morning and afternoon on the way to work and there’s only one route to get to work. Such a struggle to put the past behind you when it’s in your face all the time. Reading so much on letting go of the past and to accept it and move on. Desperately trying to put this behind me.
Unfortunately I work in a job that is fairly slow paced and a lot of the time I have the office to myself – so much time to overthink all the things I could have done to change the situations of the past and all the regrets and hurt.
I know this will make me stronger but I just want to move on already and be happy without having my stomach in knots all the time.
I have experienced so much that a 24 yr old shouldn’t have to deal with. It’s been a lonely road and full of people who use my kindness to their advantage and walk all over me. I don’t have a very active social life because of this. Distractions serve as a good tool to move on and to stop the overthinking but there’s only so much tv or books you can read.
Does anyone have any suggestions that may help? I read books and do lots of exercise, yoga & meditation but always being on my own and feeling disconnected from other people leaves this emptiness inside me. I think so much about his life with her – its damaging me and I don’t want to think about it but its a thought pattern that is very much ingrained in my mind. He only lives around the corner from me so it makes me feel yuk that my whole relationship with him was all lies. I was the fun on the side while he had a r/ship with another person. I know he doesn’t deserve me but he made me happy and it’s hard to believe I will find someone who will fill that space again.
I want to be a strong independent woman who can focus on herself and not need anyone to feel fulfilled. I want to be happy being on my own. I know time will help but months go by and it’s still the same.
If anyone on here is going through this and has any wise words would be great to hear from you.
Thank you x