I hardly ever see anyone any more other than my parents. I miss the past so much most of the memory’s are happy except those few times. I got to see my sister my friends other family members. If I’m lucky now a days I see them maybe maybe once a month.

How do I start  to be more independent?

When I read a book I don’t just read it I like to imagine the characters and the where they are at and so on for a lot of books I can’t do that so I lose interest. A book about a dog called Saving Zasha I could imagine what is going on, really well.

I guess my fear is not of driving but of my dad, like he does every time when I do something, while I’m driving with him because I’m sure that will happen I’m afraid he will get mad at me if I did not do something right or I did not go in time and now we have to wait for the light or whatever it is.

I’m not really sure, hope…. I guess, Ideas of what to do.

I wake up, take care of the animals and the chickens…. let them out, feed them, collect and wash eggs, then I do school work for a while. On the weekends we go over to a friends place to take care of some fish we drain the fish tanks and fill with clean water. They are big fish in a big tank so it take awhile. If it’s nice out and we all have the time we split wood.

Every single day/week

That’s my life, literally … pretty boring.

Occasionally if I get lucky I go some where or do something different.

My parents and adult friends are wandering when I’m going to  learn to drive they keep asking not all the time but here and there, I say to them I’m not ready, truth is I’m scared to death to be driving a car, the way my mind is thinking who knows what could happen. When I come of age to drive one what do I do, there is something that will not let me.

There probably are few people who feel this way I don’t know but, I feel like the world does not want me to get better, it just keeps getting worse one thing after the other. I really am sick of living like this, I want something different I just don’t know how.

Not really, and I don’t know why. One reason is we don’t have a lot of money.

He makes me go places with him, do things I’m not really sure how to explain it. I’m scared to be around him.

I was very little when he hit me, I remember it very well don’t know what age though maybe 5 or 7 maybe younger. My mom was in the middle my dad was in the drivers seat of a truck I was on the other side, we went moving. I must have done something to really make him want make me quiet that he reached over and hit me.

When I do something wrong or make a mistake or don’t understand him he yells its different every time he says it, some times bad word.

Every day feels the same to me when I wake up, I have this routine everyday every week and I’m so sick of it and I don’t know how to change it, I hardly get out very much.

If it wasn’t for this beautiful animal I met a year ago and adopted I might have not been alive today……… he pretty much saved my life…….. he is like the only friend I got.

I’m just not sure what to do anymore. That’s why I came here.