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AliaParticipant
I have applied to over 100 jobs with no success. Iām pretty much done.
AliaParticipantI feel I should stress this is the absolute worst that could happen but probably wouldnāt. Itās just always at the back of my mind and causes me anxiety. Iām doing everything in my power to prevent this from becoming reality.
AliaParticipantI try to hide my anxiety and be calm around her. I donāt want her to be in any further pain for me. But if I donāt find a job I wonāt have anywhere to tuck her in. While it wouldnāt happen immediately, if I donāt find one soon I fear I will lose all that I have and there is nowhere for me to go. I am lucky that my parents would take her in, at least.
- This reply was modified 6 years, 1 month ago by Alia.
AliaParticipantNo, my parents are self sufficient and donāt need help. But my decisions do affect others, and one of those is a small child. Sheās already being affected by my issues at the present and that is really hurting me. Itās one thing for me to be down but itās unacceptable(to me) for her to suffer.
I just feel lost and anxious. Iām doing all that I know to do (apply as much as possible, make the most in interviews) but itās still not clicking. I just want to do the best that I can and make my life the best that I can. I have no one that I can talk to about this in my daily life. No close female friends, no mother, no one. And those I do talk to just do the āyouāre awesome, donāt let it get you down.ā I just need someone to really bounce ideas off of. I feel if I was āawesomeā I wouldnāt be where I am. Iām very frustrated, anxious, and alone.
AliaParticipantAnyone else have any thoughts?
AliaParticipantHi, Peter, thanks for responding. I think if I understand you right youāre saying to relax and stay calm and things will happen as they need to happen. I just need to be patient and wait?
AliaParticipantYou are right. I would have to plan for that sort of thing. Honestly thatās a big part of why I havenāt done it so far. I just fear not being able to find anything, and my family suffering for my issues. But right now even taking on something new and making mistakes has paralyzed me. My last employer really didnāt do my confidence any favors.
AliaParticipantI feel worthless and useless being let go from the job. Ā I feel like thereās nothing out there for me. I feel like thereās nothing I am talented at doing.
AliaParticipantI seem to have issues if I seem confident or set boundaries. I was trying to do both. I did get let go. They didnāt really have a good explanation for that. (Said it was just not a fit but not why even when I asked for clarification.)
AliaParticipantI talked with a trusted advisor who helped me realize that I am the problem. My ego was too big and I donāt bring what I thought I did to the table. Now the question is, can I accept that? I donāt want to, but that seems like the lesson the Universe keeps trying to teach me that I just refuse to learn. I donāt want to be worthless or useless but that is exactly what I am. Maybe once I learn this things will turn around. Itās hard to wrap my head around but thatās why life keeps tossing this back to me. Ā This is my life lesson.
AliaParticipantIt has quickly become overwhelming and some things have been missed here or there. I would hope that I wouldnāt, but it wouldnāt surprise me if I was.
AliaParticipantMy duties have expanded, but they also include what I was originally hired to do. Iām doing the work of 4 positions right now.
AliaParticipantThe company is new to this area and this is their first location here. My duties started in one area but because of need theyāve expanded to include positions that they felt were not going to be necessary in our office. (Employees at the home office weāre to do them but it quickly became unmanageable.) Iāve done everything asked and more but Iām still feeling thereās something going on that Iām not aware of behind the scenes. I just got a glowing review two weeks ago but now that doesnāt appear to be the case. I have not changed my working style or attitude.
You have a good idea in creating a plan before the meeting. Iāll start on that tonight.
AliaParticipantUpdated to add: I feel like Iām being set up to fail because the duties Iām performing are in an area completely unrelated to what I was hired for and I donāt have much experience in what I’m doing. Also adding that Iām in my early 40ās but my town is small and there just isnāt the opportunity here that there is in other places. Iām established here so moving isnāt an option and commuting would not be cost or time effective.
AliaParticipantI’ve been trying to cast the net wider and go with the jobs 1.5 hours away but no luck so far. I’m looking into a possibility on the school side of things, but I don’t qualify for student aid and loans are yet another hardship for me. If I take out a loan it needs to be for more pertinent things (repairs, car, meds).
I’m not seeing a way out at all. At this point I think I just need to stay where I am working. I just don’t know a feasible long term solution.
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