Hello there,

I believe I can help with this post. I am similar to you, except a gay woman, potentially. On the other hand, I don’t have too many friends who are judgmental thankfully. I am selective to choose friends not like that, they eventually repel me anyways. I only am close to friends who are accepting and thoughtful.  I would say it’s pretty clear that you have no feelings for that girl and it is unfair to drag her along on your journey on figuring yourself out. She has her own journey and will find someone who is reciprocal of the attention and love. Please do not drag her along anymore. I could’ve done the same thing to one of my close guy friends, he’s super nice and did everything in such a gentleman way with me. I told him he should look for potential mates and I shouldn’t stop his journey. We simply don’t match, we want different things and frankly I don’t feel as though I could ever emotionally love him. I am however friends with him, though have had a clear line that is all I can provide. I am also romantically and emotionally attracted to woman, though not sexually attracted to anybody. That’s fine too if you are feeling that way towards guys. I think it’s easier to label myself as gay but asexual is really the more correct term so I identify more with that. No where did I see you mention, sexually attracted to men. So you can very well me just emotionally/romantically attracted to men. Also realize that you can also still be conservative / religious and still identify as LGBT or asexual. That is okay, you are created as is and there is nothing wrong with you. Society places these things in place, not the creator. Look back to segregation, bans on inter-racial marriages, slavery, etc. All judged as good things by SOCIETY not nature once upon a time, even though they are inherently wrong now as they were then. All hate is inherently wrong, that’s why it burdens people and the world. Light and love are light. Follow those, follow your light and love yourself as you were made. The creator, nature even if you want to call it that, has created things with peace and you have to learn to be more at peace with yourself regardless of anything.

On the broader basis, I understand you and the struggle. Being unauthentic creates resentment, unsettling anger and withdrawal from others. First accept that in yourself, you don’t have to identify to others especially if it is unsafe. Accept yourself internally first, and then you can start off small, confiding in one or two people (siblings or close friends or even parents) only if you feel you have to. Straight individuals never have to identify and as such non-straight individuals don’t have to either, you don’t owe anyone anything. You owe yourself peace of mind though. So give that to yourself, only you can give that to yourself. Regardless of others acceptance or lack of acceptance, at the end of the day only you can give yourself that peace of mind, day in day out. Please feel free to contact or write back, you can definitely have a supportive online base. And I encourage you to find an online support group or individuals (anonymously works too) through social media platforms.

Wish you love and peace