Hi Umaz,

I just read your post over coffee and I signed up just to be able to give you my thoughts.
It sounds like you do have a narcissist on your hands. The gaslighting is there, as soon as I read about you “being emotional” – that’s it right there. What you probably don’t know if you never dealt with a narcissist, is that they are champions of hiding their emotions. And they will point out how you are less than that, because you’re a normal person integrating the normal feelings of life.
Also, someone who says no to a promotion and then skillfully undermines you without pointing names – yes, you have a narc right there. That is something they would do. The only thing they live for is attention, and they are mean and witty.

So please listen to me when I say this: there is no way to win against the narcissist. The only thing you can do is to walk away. They are masters of gaslighting and will turn the situation as they please, every time you gain some ground. You won’t be able to prove the fine manipulation that’s going on, and living in this situation for a long time will tire you and wear you out.
There’s nothing wrong with you. Even in your new role, as you described it, you didn’t do anything wrong, as you are supposed to get all the help you need to grow into your new position. But that person is not someone who wants to see you thrive, unless it’s for their personal benefit.
The only narc I ever met, helped me get a foot in the door at the company I work at, so that I would be forever indebted to them – that is what they said – and I would always remain friends, because they had no one else around. A narc will use everything they have against you, and if you pay attention carefully they will accuse you of shortcomings they consider they have overcome, like mastering your emotions, like being in a position of authority (clearly only to pull at your strings)… They refused the position because deep down they are certain they wouldn’t be any good, and they would reveal how they are actually an impostor, incapable and less then any measure. So they project that on you, because they envy your boldness, your courage to take this challenge on, and they want to show you that you’re not any good. They will sabotage you to no end, because they’re bored with the usual things in life and the only thing that amuses them is the gaslighting, playing with you and turning you around their own finger. It’s not about you really, it’s about the beauty of the human mind, and how we are all reacting the same way to external stimuli (from the narc), and the only way you can surprise them is by being crazy yourself and responding in ways they do not expect – which you cannot do in work related context. I’m saying this because it’s the only thing that worked in my case.