A young man or woman will this way as you pointed out. Thinking back to when I was in hs and growing up I do remember that was the mentality of the way things where . I included women because certain bad Girls had there view of guys as well, such as dating guys who were a certain “size” , or if he came from money. I see some of that in older men and women now, the ones who did not mature or break free from the past. This is why girls lie about their number and why a guy lies about his size or the need to pop pills to increase size or how long he last in bed. Such a vain world we live in, so it seems. So sad that is how people live their lives, when actually true beauty is what is a person’s heart and how they live. Some people are considered poor because they don’t livable a materialistic life ,or not a trophy because they are over weight, dose that make them less of a human. From what I read it would if you live so vainly in that kind of thinking. Such a different world would be if you can see someone soul and not the outside appearance.
Rather than looking at girls number, see and feel what is in her heart .

From what I see here in your letter is she wants to be your friend but you got a lot of issues she is probably incapable of handling, you got a therapist who tells you she is taking advantage of you I don’t see that . Your a very emotional person and she wants to be your friend but she too has a life to live. Perhaps try finding a different therapist and maybe see things from a different prospective.

Sadly I know your pain and what your going through, breaking someone’s trust and trying to figure out how to regain it is hard , especially when they cut off communication on your part is equally hard . I have done that recently and hidden things that came to light , some of it was harmful more than needed to be. Your doing all you can to get communication going and he is wrapped up in anger to here you , it feels like they are putting more pride in their hurt , pain and anger that you can’t get through him. In your situation , first try to find ways to occupy your thoughts and give him space , work on ways to forgive your self and learn from this, keeplease your self active . As for your friend decide how much you need him in your life and seek closure if you need to cut him out of your life .

You have a right to be angry, no need to apologize or feel guilty for your feelings . If you want to let go the key for you is to cut off communication with him would be a start he was only in your life a short period, don’t let it be a lifetime of misery he will cause you. He is set in his ways and you will be in his control as you are now by letting him linger in your life. Go out and do things to make you happy, focus on a new life as if he is not in it , because he is not. If you have not already consult a lawyer and proceed with a divorce, you deserve to be happy , the key to letting go in your situation, is to let go and move on with your life and not hang on to someone who cannot provide the love you want .

Do not dwell on the could haves or should halves
Look for what could be and look in your self , He was a lesson learned and not to be dwelleducated upon , it will only be more self harm to do so . Move on and do things to make you happy. And take care