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Alexey Sunly

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Viewing 11 posts - 61 through 71 (of 71 total)
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  • May 27, 2013 at 1:43 pm in reply to: Forgiveness #36161
    Alexey Sunly
    Participant

    Haha 🙂 You are entitled to feel whatever you wish, Dave 🙂 But you haven’t answered any of my questions, have you 🙂

    May 27, 2013 at 10:58 am in reply to: Forgiveness #36156
    Alexey Sunly
    Participant

    How is it, Dave, that you focus so much on “judgement” and misquote me, instead of listening to what I am saying 🙂 I specifically stated “In your particular case, it sounds like”. I made that conclusion based on your specific words “She blamed the whole thing on my ‘lack of happiness in the myself’. She accepts no responsibility for what happened (sighting me as the problem), or her callous behaviour.”

    So, now you know, I was not judging you. Just your words 🙂

    Do you often focus on specific words when you communicate with people instead of listening to the entire thing? Or are you only doing it because you are angry right now 🙂

    • This reply was modified 11 years, 7 months ago by Alexey Sunly.
    May 26, 2013 at 3:45 pm in reply to: Semi-new relationship/different religious views #36136
    Alexey Sunly
    Participant

    I am sorry, Ashley, but it sounds like you are very much judgmental. That’s why you are having such hard time with this. Religion alone does not make relationships happen, people do. Forget about religion and focus on relationships with people instead. Yes, of course, some people find connection through religion but the rest do so through many other things that matter to them. In your case, you and your boyfriend’s parents already share something in common, your boyfriend. So, you could share with them your stories about him and ask them to share theirs. Better yet, you could ask your boyfriend about his parents and their interests outside of religion. So, if his mother, for example, likes to garden and grow certain flowers you could look into that topic and buy her a gift of flower seeds. I am sure you get the idea. People are not just their religion, the car they drive or the clothes they wear. People are multidimensional beings with many interests, fears, desires. The only way to connect with them is to let go of your prejudice, keep an open mind and show a sincere interest in things and people they care about. And if they do not seem to like you, it’s not a big deal. The most important thing is that you like yourself and the person you are striving to be.

    May 26, 2013 at 3:30 pm in reply to: Forgiveness #36135
    Alexey Sunly
    Participant

    Forgiveness is about understanding that none is perfect. First step is to admit that you are not perfect, and that other people may perceive you in a way that you yourself don’t see yourself. In your particular case, it sounds like you are not willing to listen to your girlfriend’s opinion about you and your behaviour. The fact is that even if you don’t agree with her, and even if she is not telling you the truth, it does not matter. What matters is that she does not see you as a suitable partner for her right now. If you were in a relationship with someone and suddenly felt that you no longer belong with them, what would you do? Maybe you would handle it in another way, but ultimately you either would end that relationship or stay with them to be unhappy ever after…

    So, if you want to forgive her, realize that she owes you nothing. You owe her nothing. But you both owe yourselves to be happy. So, if you want her to be happy, let her do what she need to do. And let’s say you could wake up tomorrow and, magically, everything is perfect, and you feel happy. What would be different about that day? What would you be doing, who would you be talking to and about what?

    May 26, 2013 at 3:15 pm in reply to: separation #36134
    Alexey Sunly
    Participant

    Best way to survive anything is in company of other people. Do you have a passion or a hobby on which you spent a significant amount of your time while married?

    May 23, 2013 at 7:37 pm in reply to: Relationships at Dawn! #36054
    Alexey Sunly
    Participant

    You could also start a blog about your journey, John 🙂 That would definitely be another good way to do this. If you decide to do it or already have one, you can share the link here, and I am sure there will be people from this forum who will be interested in reading it. I know I would be 🙂

    May 23, 2013 at 2:08 pm in reply to: Relationships at Dawn! #36047
    Alexey Sunly
    Participant

    It’s true, it takes time to change the way we think, behave and perceive the world around us 🙂 But every journey starts with a step and ends with a step. Your took quite a few steps already, so you might be much closer to your desired destination than you might think. Or, at least, much closer than those who haven’t yet taken them 🙂

    Have you considered making a connection with a group of like minded people who also applaud this particular book and those similar to it? If you do that, you might find someone who had to face similar challenges, and they might be able to share with you their experience 🙂 Sex at Dawn has many fans, it should not be too challenging. And you could always organize one of your own groups, first online and then in your local community.

    The most important thing to realize from your experience is that you are not the only one who has struggled with your issues. Many people had to face them as well and were able to successfully overcome them. If you are willing to keep an open mind and learn from them, your struggles may no longer seem as insurmountable as before. And, in fact, you might find that you are actually enjoying the challenge they provide as well as the opportunities to make connection with like-minded people 😀

    May 22, 2013 at 3:16 pm in reply to: Relationships at Dawn! #36014
    Alexey Sunly
    Participant

    From your post it sounds like this book is exactly for you, John. Don’t try to put it on your reading list and start reading it instead… like today 😉

    May 22, 2013 at 11:52 am in reply to: DSM V, believe it or not? #35991
    Alexey Sunly
    Participant

    Sorry about that! http://www.straight.com/life/379291/american-psychiatric-associations-diagnostic-manual-faces-mounting-criticism

    May 9, 2013 at 7:56 pm in reply to: Entwined in music #35324
    Alexey Sunly
    Participant

    K-Pop, baby! It just makes me fly through my day 😀

    • This reply was modified 11 years, 7 months ago by Alexey Sunly.
    May 8, 2013 at 8:26 am in reply to: Are you a singer? #35258
    Alexey Sunly
    Participant

    Thank you for sharing your experience, Stephanie! That was a very interesting story 🙂

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