Thank you, everyone, for your insightful replies. I really enjoyed reading all the different perspectives, because I was able to relate and gather from each one.

Lindsay, your response particularly resonated with me; I fear that my relationship may suffer a similar fate, crumbling as we both pull away because of our own insecurities. It’s just like you said: how can I continue to be my best self when I feel like I’m blowing air into a balloon that has a huge hole in it? I kind of feel like my boyfriend and I are two little kids staring at a huge swimming pool on a hot summer day, each daring the other to be the first to jump in. Kind of a sad analogy to apply to something that’s supposed to be sacred and wonderful, right?

I really appreciated what Danielle said, too… Could it be that I demanded love prematurely? After all, my ability to be “in love” with him hinges on whether or not he provides ME with the security and confidence of love in return… I’m worried that maybe I asked to see his cards too soon, and I should have waited until we had played a few more rounds before I asked him to put it all on the table. As you pointed out, he does treat me well, and his actions do demonstrate love… shouldn’t that mean more than a four letter word? (Ok, it totally doesn’t feel that way.)