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Alex

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  • in reply to: How to seek a relationship when I've got diagnoses #82116
    Alex
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    You should keep in mind that these days almost everyone has some sort of diagnosis, whether it be physical or mental, that could get in the way of an ideal relationship, yet people find ways to work around it. I’ve had problems with generalized anxiety and depression myself and I personally am drawn to people, both romantically and for friendship who are sensitive, and consequently often deal with mental health problems as well. People who are sensitive and have dealt with these issues seem to be very understanding and kind when it comes to these issues and might know the best way to help because they’ve gone it themselves. It’s true for me at least; I can’t speak for you. This isn’t to say that you don’t need to have control over your mental health in the long term, because you do need to.

    You absolutely shouldn’t be afraid to try relationship if it’s within your reach. Well, I mean you will be afraid probably as that’s beyond your control, but it’s worth being brave and giving it a try. I’m in the process of getting over the end of my first relationship and even in the worst moments of pain and sorrow I don’t ever regret giving the relationship a try.

    It’s best not to define yourself with these labels if you can help it. To not let yourself get carried away with or convinced with thoughts like “I can’t do that because i’m depressed” or things of that nature. This is easier said than done, but if you can pull it off i’ve personally found it very helpful to try and unthink the things i’ve told myself I can’t do, even if only partially. I’ve been dealing with pretty severe fatigue, brain fog, and other symptoms for over a year now (finally getting to a root cause with my alternative medicine doctor, which seems to be related to my liver, so hopefully i’ll be on the upswing soon) and along the way I gave up doing a lot of things because I was convinced I couldn’t have enough concentration to read, or enough energy to exercise, or whatever, so I stopped doing them, or enough clarity to even hang out with friends. Only in the last month or so have I come to realize that while true, I may be to foggy to read much at all sometimes and even when i’m clearer I can’t read at a level i’d like to or remember it very well, it doesn’t mean that I can’t read. When I have enough clarity i’ll try to read sometimes, even if it means reading a book that’s at a middle school level and being okay with not remembering much. As for hanging out with friends, while it was hard, and I often wouldn’t remember more than 5% of what we could talk about the next day (unlike in the past when I could probably recall at least 75% of a conversation the next day), it didn’t mean that I couldn’t hang out with them, even if for a long time I told myself that I couldn’t. I recently made an effort to reach out to the friends I haven’t seen in a while and had a lot of fun with them and they can’t even tell that i’m dealing with any cognitive symptoms. Ultimately it boils down to try and work on the barriers that are truly within your control, and accept the ones that aren’t. It’s a concept that comes up time and time again on websites like this.

    It would be helpful if you could talk about not having a job if you’re comfortable (what are the barriers? have you had many jobs before? etc) as addressing that would be a great first step in the right direction.

    I hope you find this helpful. I’m new to giving advice.

    • This reply was modified 9 years, 3 months ago by Alex.
    • This reply was modified 9 years, 3 months ago by Alex.
    in reply to: Can't escape suicidal thoughts #81787
    Alex
    Participant

    There absolutely is a mental component to suicidal thoughts, but as someone who has been dealing with severe physiological problems for the last year or two I believe that the physiological factors shouldn’t be ignored. I was having incredibly frequent suicidal thoughts, as in at least hourly for several weeks this spring. After a while I went to the doctor for other problems, and they checked my vitamin D level. My level was right around 20 ng/ml, which is the lowest “normal” level, but really not adequate for good health whether mental or physical. Within 2 weeks of supplementing 5,000 IU/day I started noticing a big decrease in my suicidal thoughts and my ability to control my eating habits improved as well. It’s no magic bullet, but it can be a huge help in stabilizing yourself so that you can confront your problems more easily.

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