txs i really appreciate it. when i have been forsaken by all someone like u really came ahead to help . txs again.

txs jasmine its very true i dnt love myself.
i dnt know the reason y but its true.
as a child i was really loved by my parents. i got good grades so teachers loved me too. but since i am an introvert i never had many friends. i had no knowleadge abt ppl how they behave in a social situation.
but afterall this i have started hating myself. and bcuz of this i have lost all desire to live.

but i have been trying for past 5 yrs now but the let go is not happening.

txs for ur advice mark and celina u both r such wonderful people, txs i do understand everything but still there r few things which i canot understand.

1. its been more than 5 yrs when i broke up i decided enough was enough, i loved him but i cudnt see myself insulted everytime. but in these 5 yrs i didnt find the love of my life, and everyone started ques my single status, i m 34 and everyone comes nd tell me i wnt become a mother as i am too old for that. i feel like a looser.
2. he illtreated me but howcome he is so caring for his wife, is he rite that fault was mine not his.
3, how can a manipulator find peace and happiness who tortures a girl to an extent that she becomes a vegetable. is there no justice.
4. will i ever fnd a man who will love and respect me.
5. y did i have to suffer so much of pain when my fault was that i loved him so much.
6. how can i get rid of the pain ( i failed so many times, i have just given up hope.
can u ans me as my mind is in a state where i cannot think.

i dnt know how to explain myself, i was lonely introvert as a child, as a teenager i experienced love though he loved me but he dumped me for he had no money to marry me. i entered into another relationship thinking that if i am honest he wud love me but he played mind games with me for 10 yrs wnt let me out and if i broke up wud entice me back again with false promises, i loved him so waited him to cahnge but he didnt. i decided to move awaay which i did i was on the verge of healing 90% healed when he came gain and i was again draged into pain, he was married by now but still played games with me by making me feel that i have lost him, i have lost a perfect husband as he is to his wife etc. i just let him go bcuz i cudnt marry a man who didnt respect me or love me but after 5 yrs of loneliness i ques myself did i make a mistake.?