For the last week I am on my own trying to deal with myself. I thought I am strong enough to do it however since last 2 days I cannot find any comfort and this makes me even more helpless. The lost trip and so lost expectations make me weep and create penetreting endless sorrow. My ex, in my mind I call him dream destroyer, is in my thoughts all the time and I am asking him why this dream had to turn so ugly for me. I am happy for him chasing his dream yet at the same time I am devastated that I was not able to do it myself.
There is not too much anger in me for what has happened, it is the sorrow that really disempowers me and puts on the floor sucked out of energy.
My sister is back in 1 week, so 7 days more on my own and I am not sure whether I can handle it. I do not want to ask her to come back from her holidays earlier than planned as she and her family deserve a rest. I do not know anybody here and I do not even know the language however I am not even able to handle any conversation with people. so I would be grateful for any thoughts…
Thanks