Thank you Eris, and indeed to everyone. You’ve all given some great advice. You know, he really is a balanced guy, and I am so lucky for that. I know people have broken up over less. The fact that he’s so good, so willing to forget about it and move on (he literally brushed it off in a few minutes after I explained myself, and he isn’t the type at all to drag these things up again) I suppose he has forgiven me, and I will forgive myself although it might take a little more time. I think a little part of me is absolutely terrified of ending up in that situation again, you know. The thoughts of it make me feel sick. Your words made me realise this, Eris, and have made me so much more motivated to stop this unhealthy drinking habit. You are indeed right that there is a drinking culture around me, heck me and my boyfriend get drunk together all the time but it’s always fun and safe, we spend the night together and we wake up together laughing about it. But I think I’ll have to limit myself in all situations. In the past, after a bad experience, I was good for a while and then slipped into old ways of overdoing it. I can’t slip again. And I won’t. I’m 21 and I think this is a good age to hopefully gain some maturity. 🙂

For the record, I absolutely know that I have to stop drinking heavily. I know it’s such an unhealthy habit, that it doesn’t go down well with me. I’m going to limit myself hugely from now on – drinking slowly, missing rounds and steering clear of spirits. This has been a massive wake-up call, and I suppose if I can learn at least one thing from it, let it be this lesson that will last my whole life.