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Bill

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Viewing 8 posts - 1 through 8 (of 8 total)
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  • November 17, 2016 at 6:25 am #120560
    Bill
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    hey segal25,
    i completely agree with you in what you’ve described and hopefully for both of us we know feel that someone does experience the same as you and i have well described. at the moment i’m just trying to enjoy the moment as i’m trying to believe at the moment that it is impossible for anyone be 100% emotionally or mentally stable. it is a shame in respects that i am so content at the moment because what i’ve found is that with that pain or struggle, i set many goals and have a lot of motivation to get to ‘the finish line’ as you said. however although yourself and i might be used to large rises and falls in happiness or something for example, at the moment i am just having little to no dips and this will change in time.

    November 13, 2016 at 10:56 am #120265
    Bill
    Participant

    Dear hummingbird9442,
    thank you for taking the time to reply in such length. thank you for your congratulations, your own story and your advice. However i do not feel anxious that this could be the calm before the storm for i miss the balance of having any kind of ‘storm’. i just feel quite bored without something to work towards or a some sort of challenging emotions or thoughts. funnily enough, your recommendation of me sharing to others among the community here is something i’ve done a few times in the past in aid to try and help others, but alongside that also help myself.
    anyway, i very much appreciate the honesty and depth of your reply and hope to get a reply again possibly with anymore advice you feel you have. i myself, feel that i should be patient as pain, grief, struggle, street etc.. will come at the right time. i have developed rapidly as a person this year and maybe this is a little break just as we come out of 2016 and into 2017? who knows?

    November 3, 2016 at 12:13 pm #119567
    Bill
    Participant

    Dear johnda,
    what i found i picked up on most in your post was that seeing others ‘enjoying their time and their youth’ bothers you. I empathise with an introverted person if that may be the case for yourself, however maybe you should try going outside for yourself. maybe go to the movies instead of being inside. tasks like that may seem daunting but it appears the greater challenge you are facing is speaking to people. well, i think its very brave of you really that (although over the internet) you are sharing your story with others because you want help. And right there is another positive, that you are actually willing to get help and hopefully that also means you know what you want. Maybe the first initial step for you could be to not be so loyal to your suffering. You are not depressed, you are going through a depression. You only have problems when you view them as problems. you only hate your life, when you say you do. i believe you saying these things brings them to life because everything starts off as a thought but you supply it (feed it if you will) with the energy to continue and take over your reality. i know it is a hard system to break being negative and self-critical but don’t you think its worth a shot? everything in life is temporary after all.

    August 3, 2016 at 12:23 pm #111446
    Bill
    Participant

    at the start of the song acorns by the white stripes the narrative says that similar to a squirrel carrying nuts to its shelter before winter, if we break our problems into small parts we can carry them one at a time. if we try to carry all of out problems (and it sounds like you’re dealing with a lot) at the same time we will break under the weight of it all. i think it would be worth a shot for you to just remember that it’s one day at a time and that we can’t go leaps and bounds ahead of ourselves. we have t….no, YOU have to take small steps, maybe even baby steps towards overcoming your personal obstacles. Try to remember that you are doing the best you can. it might not be the best you want it to be, but if it was then that wouldn’t be you. if you’re using every tip, advice, mantra etc that you have in your metaphorical arsenal in order to help yourself, then that’s you doing the best you can so don’t be too hard on yourself. again try breaking your problems into smaller bits. try your best to pin point what about work makes you unsettled (the people, the work, the building, whatever really?). Don’t admit defeat and give up on yourself. you deserve to be happy and healthy and stable in all areas of your life. You’re doing fantastically by trying to gain help from this community and from your therapist.

    June 30, 2016 at 3:29 am #108566
    Bill
    Participant

    Dear anitad,
    it’s been very useful having someone who understands the english education system reply to me so i thank you very much. yes, i feel that gcse has been quite rigid and altogether negative. it is much more important for me to have art as an enjoyable release. an art foundation sounds very interesting, my sister also took foundation and found it very liberating. my art teacher actually wanted to make it very clear to everyone though that art a-level isn’t just painting and drawing. my school/future collage has lots of equipment and i believe the teachers are quite open to many different art forms (3d, ceramics, animation, fashion). i believe a career in art could be an option for me but it is not a dead set dream at the moment. thank you this has helped very much and i very much like your advice to listen to my heart. 🙂

    June 30, 2016 at 3:20 am #108565
    Bill
    Participant

    Dear anita, thank you for replying and considering my post although you may have found it hard to understand. i think you’ve made a really great point that it was a negative experience which is not a life sentence on my art or myself. the projects that i really enjoyed in the past were ones where i was asked to express identity and i think in the future i shall experiment more with that topic of work. thank you for your reply again, your other reply which was for another thread is completely understood as an accident. 🙂

    June 15, 2016 at 1:13 pm #107391
    Bill
    Participant

    Hey,
    I completely respect your choice to drink, however it has been the root to this stress and problem. personally i don’t drink and i’m fine with anyone that does. the intoxication that it has over you sounds pretty scary. These blackout stages leave you completely out of the drivers seat and as you’ve said you have to rely on people telling you if anything happened. this leaves you skeptical of whether you’ve done anything or not. i think a lot of people widely find it funny to ridicule people for getting drunk. i think this is horrible because when drunk, people sometimes don’t think or act as orderly as they would like to. although it is scary and stressful for you to piece together events (probably told differently from person to person) at the end of the day if you believe you wouldn’t kiss another person (also regarding that your relationship is very strong) that same strength of love would have made an impact on your decisions when drunk. what i’m saying here is that even when blacked out, you as a committed girlfriend would have still had the rationality in whatever situation to make the right choice. maybe in the future decide on something other than alcohol to enjoy a good time while also keeping track of your actions.

    June 15, 2016 at 2:03 am #107344
    Bill
    Participant

    Hey Joanna2310

    I believe you should try and find the most loving thing to do regarding talking to these people. However I would not be afraid of what they think of you. These are clearly ‘toxic people’. What i mean by that is that they are dumping garbage into your life. You need to have the conviction and faith within yourself to do something about that instead of feed the negativity that these people are creating for you. The fear of stress that you have for your future is based upon how they have made you feel in the past and in the present. However, i think your very fear of stress and manipulation are preventing you from being as close to stress free and happy as you can be. The only place for you to be these things is in the present, which is your true place. In the present you can work on yourself, grief over the loss of your dog and whatever else you feel needs to be worked through. BUT START SMALL. I think taking it upon yourself to please everyone else is an impossible feat. But there is not going to be a quick fix. I’ve found this myself that I want to get over an issue as quickly as possible; it’s really not that easy. If you break your problems down into small piece you just might find you can carry them one at a time. And however great the past could have been: ‘the belonging you seek is not behind you, it is ahead’-Maz Kanata.

    • This reply was modified 8 years, 5 months ago by Bill.
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