Hi there Jayaseelan. I just wanted to let you know how incredibly brave I think you are just for asking for help. There are many more people than we care to think about who feel exactly the way you do right now. I’ve been in a very similar situation myself and so have other people. You just have to keep hanging in there for a while.

I know how hard it is to ask for help, and ironically how low many of us get before we can try to. This is you fighting those dark thoughts… Go you! You may not have realised it, but you’ve just made the first step towards healing your pain. That deserves congratulations!

This girl sounds like she came along at exactly the right time. She gave you something to live for when you needed it most. But it sounds like she has been cruel, and it’s natural to be devastated. You’ve been hurt, and what you’re feeling is perfectly normal.

Just try your best to remember how happy you felt, and understand that it was you that it was you that got yourself there. You found something that made you happy, and you chased it, fiercely. Good for you! A lot of people never learn how to do that. And you definitely can be that happy again. Your heart needs time to heal first though, don’t try to rush this, it’s not a quick process. Every day, little by little, you will find yourself thinking of her less and less. It may be only a few seconds at first, but these seconds will grow into minutes, then hours, then eventually days. Be kind to yourself while this happens, and when you can, try to do things that you used to enjoy. Even tiny things like sitting outside or making a meal are big steps, and you must congratulate yourself for doing these things.

Try not to torture yourself by visiting her house. Maybe she had reasons for doing what she did, maybe not. But don’t let yourself remember the good things, try to remember the things she did that irritated you too. It’s so easy to fall into this trap, and so many of my friends have done this, myself included. But you must believe that you just aren’t meant to be together. She gave you an important lesson, and you will be ok. One day, you will be able to help your friendly, or even strangers, through the same pain that you’re feeling now.

If you need more help than your parents can give (because, let’s face it, they’re you’re parents and will only want to protect you), then ask them to help you find it. I have every confidence that you will find happiness again, because you found it before.

Sending you love,

Abby