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Abbey

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  • June 23, 2016 at 8:30 am #108020
    Abbey
    Participant

    Glad to have been of help. Just stick around and feel better 🙂

    June 22, 2016 at 4:41 am #107922
    Abbey
    Participant

    Firstly, I’d like to give you a virtual hug. I hope that helps you calm down a bit, because hugs do that to me. I, too, have this person who has been abusive of my kindness and love for him. And this has been happening for 5 years already. Honestly, I woke up today crying still because of him. It’s bemusing how we can be extremely attached to someone who doesn’t see us the same way we see them.

    Travelling and making new friends have helped me take him off my mind for some time. The only problem I see why I haven’t completely moved on is because this person is still in my life. We may not talk everyday but he’s still here. And every time he hurts me again, it’s like, all the travelling and new friendships thing all go down the drain. He still has that much power over me.

    I don’t know if I’m right to give advice given my situation. But I want you be to strong. To be able to resist him and put more value on your well-being. If the thought of having feelings for someone else triggers anxiety, try to be more in control of your emotions. Think of the next person you meet as just a new friend. Not a replacement for him. Try travelling solo and meet total strangers. Make friends here in this community. Repeat this until you are busier with your new company, until you lose time for him, until you forget about him.

    You are right to think you deserve love, respect and happiness. We really do. We all do.

    June 22, 2016 at 4:24 am #107921
    Abbey
    Participant

    Hi Esmeralda.

    I understand what you are going through as my situation is pretty similar to yours.
    I’ve been reading articles, asking advice from friends, travelling and getting myself busy but it’s annoying how there really is this one person who’s so difficult to detach myself from. Well, one big reason is, he’s still around. He’s still in my life. He may not be talking to me as much as before, but he still does come up once in a while. I know I should be strong enough to stay away from him after everything he has done to me, but I just can’t resist him at all.

    And just like you, I also feel like sometimes I’m not worth more than what I’m getting from this person. That I’m only for hookups and temporary attention, never for love. And every time that happens, the pain doubles. I become more miserable.

    I can’t emphasize enough that I want you, me and all the other people like us to be strong. It’s difficult and the universe may seem like it’s not helping sometimes, but we have to be strong. You had serious relationships before, right? I did too. I’ve had people love me before and I try to remind myself that sometimes. I was loved before. And I can be loved again.

    This person with us right now is just not the right person. We have to tell us that ourselves over and over again. He can’t commit to us, he doesn’t value us the way we deserve to, he is not the one.

    It makes me sad to find out that there are people who are also going through the same because this situation is very self-worth crushing and heartbreaking. If you need someone to talk to, I can be a friend who can listen. And you have this community. You’re not alone.

    Let love be stronger than fear. We can get through this.

    Sending you virtual hugs.

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