Great to know that, Connie. Wish you all the best.

Dear Grenada.  I am a little surprised to see someone who helps out others a lot, asking for guidance. 🙂 However, I understand that everyone has their own issues and need to look outwards sometimes.

First of all, let’s go to the core of the problem which is the social media reminding you of someone. Well, I don’t know who that someone is, but I went through this after my first breakup. I don’t know if it’s the best solution, but what I did was:

1. I went off social media for about good 6 months.

2. Did I feel withdrawal symptoms? Not of the social media as much, but of not being able to know the whereabouts of the person.

3. I would login in a day or two, then weeks to check. And I slowly got over the urge.

4. How? Not just by restraining myself, but also by getting busy in my first job where I was doing something related to what I was really passionate about. By being among people who were caring and loving.

5. Most importantly, I gradually started to put away all the things that reminded me of him, both offline and online.

6. I met a new person who gradually filled up that emptiness I had after this person went away.

Secondly, social media can bring in a lot of anxiety and negativity if used too much and not used the right way.

What can you do?

1.The first step is what you have rightly decided- Go offline! We all need a break!

2. There will be some withdrawal symptoms initially but hang on and it will be better with time

3. Going off social media doesn’t mean stop being social. Talk to the ones who love you. Stay in touch with your friends. In fact it’s great time to give more time to such people and listen to their issues and help them out. Don’t just wait wondering those who need you would reach out. Sometimes, others need someone to reach out to them too.

4. Engage yourself in some hobby or activity. It will not only keep you busy but will affect your brain positively by making you learn something each day and get better at it. You will be proud of yourself

5. After some time, you may decide to be back. Sometime could mean as long as you wish. It could be a week, a month, an year!

6. Social media although isn’t the best thing, it’s not that bad at all. After you decide to come back, limit the time and interval at which you use it.

Here’s a list of social media hygiene you can try:

– Mind the clock

– Switch off the notifications. Check manually when you have to

-Don’t use it immediately after waking up and just before sleeping. Spoils your morning and sleep.

– Limit your interaction with people who make you feel positive

– Unsubscribe from negative accounts. Unfriend people if needed

– Post less. Don’t await likes and approvals. Social media is a world full of narcissism. The ones who really care are around you, not on the internet. You just have to see.

Congratulations that you have decided to fight your anxiety and are bold enough to go off social media. Seeing your replies to others posts, I know that you are a very strong person and you shall work this all out.

God bless you.

Love,

Anu

Dear Connie,

Just read the thread. Sorry for coming in the middle of the conversation. But I felt the compulsion to write to you.

It is quite normal to doubt if you are good enough when a relationship breaks. I have been through it. However, know that although we must strive to improve ourselves and be the best version of ourselves, we can’t be the best version of what someone expects us to be. For everyone has a different idea of what the best is.

Yes, men do freak out from commitments but know that the one who truly loves you and is meant for you will not. Even if he does, he will be absolutely communicative about it because he knows you care and he can’t keep you hanging in the middle with absolutely no clue about what’s happening.

In this case, the guy, with all due respect, seems to be struggling with some emotional and possibly mental issues. It is obvious that you want him to be back because you truly love him even after all that has happened. Be by his side and wait if you wish but meanwhile, know that you are complete in every way for God has made you so and will not fall apart if it doesn’t work out. We sometimes go through confusing relationships which don’t work out because they are not meant to work out. There is a lesson in each relationship and may be the lesson is his and you are just playing a part. God knows!

Even if the relationship works out and if the guy is going through some mental issues, will you be happy in the relationship? I think not!.So just trust in the God and universe that whatever is the best for you shall happen. And whatever is the best for the guy too. Pray for both of you and God shall take care of the rest. You deserve all the love in the world because you are god’s child. May god bless you.

Love,

Anu