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How I Claimed My Right to Belong While Dealing with Imposter Syndrome

By in Blog, change & challenges, love & relationships

TRIGGER WARNING: This post briefly references sexual abuse.

“Never hold yourself back from trying something new just because you’re afraid you won’t be good enough. You’ll never get the opportunity to do your best work if you’re not willing to first do your worst and then let yourself learn and grow.” ~Lori Deschene

The year 2022 was the hardest of my life. And I survived a brain tumor before that.

My thirtieth year started off innocently enough. I was living with my then-boyfriend in Long Beach and had a nice ring on my finger. The relationship had developed quickly, but …

Thinner is Not Better – Healthy, Connected, and Happy Is

By in Blog, healthy habits

“Standards of beauty are arbitrary. Body shame exists only to the extent that our physiques don’t match our own beliefs about how we should look.” ~Martha Beck

I have so many women around me right now—friends, mothers, clients that are on a diet—constantly talking about their weight and how their bodies look, struggling with body image.

I am profoundly sad about the frequency and theme of those discussions.

At the same time, I deeply get it; it is hard to detach from our conditioning.

I too struggled with body image at one point in my life, and for a very …

Why Life Felt Hard for Me for Years (and 7 Lessons That Have Helped)

By in Blog, change & challenges

“You’re so hard on yourself. But remember, everybody has a chapter they don’t read out loud. Take a moment. Sit back. Marvel at your life; at the mistakes that gave you wisdom, at the suffering that gave you strength. Despite everything, you still move forward, be proud of this. Continue to endure. Continue to persevere. And remember, no matter how dark it gets, the sun will rise again.” ~Unknown

All my life I knew I was different. If I didn’t look so much like my mom, I would have believed the jokes my brother told me about how I was …

How I Feel the Best I Can Despite My Struggles with Depression and Anxiety

By in Blog, change & challenges

“There is hope, even when your brain tells you there isn’t.” ~John Green

I remember being fifteen. I was a high school freshman who loved drawing, books, Harry Potter, and Taylor Swift. I hated math class with a passion. I had a loving family and a small white dog named Maddie. I wanted to be a writer, and to have a boyfriend. I also wanted to die.

It started in seventh grade, when my best friend, Meghan, dumped me. You hear about romantic breakups all the time, but no one seems to talk about friendship breakups. They hurt a …

You’re Never Too Old To Feel Inspired, Excited, and Alive

By in Blog, happiness & fun

“I do not want to get to the end of my life and find that I just lived the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well.” ~Diane Ackerman 

I’m in the business of watching people take risks. I observe them tackling challenges, fear, and discomfort, and sometimes, “making firsts” in their life.

I observe a lot as a flight attendant, and sometimes wonder if my official title should rather be “Human Observer,” or “Social Experimenter.” It feels more accurate, or at least it’s the part that I typically enjoy the most. I’m …

Why Relationships Matter Most: We’re All Just Walking Each Other Home

By in Blog, love & relationships

“We’re all just walking each other home.” ~Ram Dass

Living in the hyper-individualist society that we do, it’s easy to forget our obligation to those around us. Often in the West, we are taught to prioritize ourselves in the unhealthiest ways, to ‘grind’ as hard as we can to achieve wealth and status.

We are taught, between the lines, that our first responsibility is to create a ‘perfected‘ version of ourselves to such an extreme that it is alright to forsake our relationships with others to accomplish it.

From day one, it is embedded in us that it …

How to Ease the Pain of Being Human: From Breakdown to Breakthrough

By in Blog, change & challenges

“Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know” ~Pema Chödrön

We are all works in progress.

We all have skeletons in our closets that we may wish to never come out. We have all made mistakes. We will all make mistakes in future. We all have our scars.

None of us are close to reaching that mythical ‘perfect’ status. Never will be.

None of us should consider ourselves fully evolved. Not even close. There will always be space for improving an area of our lives.

Truth be told, most of us are a contradictory …

How Yoga Helped Heal My Anxiety and Quiet My Overactive Mind

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you really are” ~Carl Jung

Yoga is often celebrated for its physical benefits: greater flexibility, increased strength, improved circulation, and so on. But nothing could have prepared me for the transformational effect that yoga has had on my mental health and well-being.

I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression when I was fourteen, and I have struggled with both for most of my life. My mind was my worst enemy, constantly worrying and criticizing to the point where it became hard to do anything. Even the things I really wanted to …

Rediscover Your True Self with “Are You on the Right Track?”

By in Blog

Do you ever feel like you’re just going through the motions in life, unsure of what your true purpose is? I know I’ve been there before, back in my twenties when I felt lost in the world, desperate to do something that mattered, and afraid I was wasting time.

I think these feelings are fairly common, but the good news is that you have the power within you to create a meaningful life. And Tiny Buddha contributor Antasha Durbin Solomon has just the tool to help you get there!

Introducing Are You on the Right Track?—a 101-day guided journal …

8 Ways You Can Help Fight the Loneliness Epidemic

By in Blog, love & relationships

“The antidote to loneliness isn’t just being around random people indiscriminately, the antidote to loneliness is emotional security.” ~Benedict Wells

Emotional security. The feeling of being at home in the presence of another. Safe to be who you are, good times or bad. Feeling seen and seeing the other clearly, accepting the other’s whole lovely mess. It’s good stuff, and it can be hard to find.

In fact, ever-increasing loneliness stats have led many experts to describe the problem as epidemic. You might assume it was caused by the pandemic, but it was a crisis long before lockdowns and …

Trust Restored: Why I’m Letting Go of Preconceived Ideas About People

By in Blog, love & relationships

“The problems around us are only compounding. We will need to rediscover our trust in other people, to restore some of our lost faith—all that’s been shaken out of us in recent years. None of it gets done alone. Little of it will happen if we isolate inside our pockets of sameness, communing only with others who share our exact views, talking more than we listen.” ~Michelle Obama

I’m up at the American River, one of my favorite summertime spots. I have a ritual of floating down it, then hiking back up the hill to my clothes. I love how …

I Wanted Peace and Freedom After Prison, and Forgiveness Was the Way

By in Blog, change & challenges, letting go

“In every walk with Nature one receives far more than he seeks.” ~John Muir

The sign comes into view.

I make the left-hand turn, driving slowly through the rusty gated entrance. The sound of gravel beneath the tires makes me smile. I flashback to driving my go-kart on our gravel driveway.

I park my rental Mini and walk to the kiosk.

The Mianus River Gorge trail map is laid out in front of me. Where is the trail I’m looking for? Which one will bring me to the waterfall? This is why I came here today—to find the waterfall. I …

“But He Never Hit Me!” – How I Ignored My Abuse for 30 Years

By in Blog, love & relationships

“People only see what they are prepared to see.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Abuse is a funny thing. I don’t mean humorous, of course.

I mean the other definition of funny: difficult to explain or understand.

Abuse shouldn’t be difficult to understand. If someone is mistreated, we should be able to clearly point a finger and proclaim, “That is wrong.”

But not all abuse is obvious or clear-cut.

I was abused for most of my adult life and didn’t know it.

Crazy, right?

Let me state it again: I was abused and didn’t know it.

I only saw what I …

How To Make Peace with Regrets: 4 Steps That Help Me Let Go

By in Blog, letting go

“Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.” ~Don Miguel Ruiz

The other day, I told my adult niece that I regretted selling my downtown condo several years ago.

“On no,” she said. “You told me back then that you were finding the lack of light was getting to you. You weren’t happy there.”

I had no memory of that until she reminded me. And surprisingly, it lifted a great deal of my painful regret around it. It helped me change from regret to recognition that I’d made the right decision.

That got …

Confronting Your Truth: The Life-Changing Benefits of Asking “Why?”

By in Blog

“The most important conversations you’ll ever have are the ones you’ll have with yourself.” ~David Goggins

Today I’m going to ask a question that will unlock a better life for you.

You’re probably expecting something profound.

You’re probably expecting something that will shake you to your core.

You’re probably expecting something that you’ve never heard before.

Don’t get me wrong, it can and will dramatically change your life, but you’ve definitely heard it before. Especially if you’ve been around a three-year-old.

And did I mention it’s only one word?

It’s the simple question of “Why?”

It’s scary to ask …

8 Painful Side Effects of Trying to Please and Save Everyone Else

By in Blog

“Empaths did not come into this world to be victims, we came to be warriors. Be brave. Stay strong. We need all hands on deck.” ~Anthony St. Maarten

From the moment I entered this world, I strongly felt others’ pain. Especially those in my house. They were not okay, and I felt it deeply.

Their intense negative emotions made me feel unsafe. I lived with my parents and my grandparents. Two generations of oppressed and abused women, whom I loved so much.

The men weren’t all bad. They were gentle, deep, and loving. But then they would switch into …

How I’m Overcoming Perfectionism and Why I’m No Longer Scared to Fail

By in Blog, letting go

“Perfectionism is a self-destructive belief system. It’s a way of thinking that says: ‘If I look perfect, live perfect, and work perfect, I can avoid or minimize criticism and blame.’” ~BrenĂ© Brown

I struggled with trying new things in my past. I learned growing up that failure was bad. I used to be a gifted child, slightly ahead of my peers. As I got older, everything went downhill.

Whenever I tried out a new activity, I would quit if I wasn’t instantly perfect at it. If there was the slightest imperfection, I would get extremely frustrated and upset. I …

An Unexpected Place to Find Kindness: What Made Me Feel Like I Belong

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.” ~Mother Teresa

Routines are important to me. I rely on certain things to bring me back home to myself; to feel clear and open in my mind, body, and heart.

One of the activities that bring steadiness to my life is swimming. It’s one of my greatest pleasures. There is something magical to me about the feeling of water on my skin, the repetition of the arm strokes that calm my mind, the sound of my breath that relaxes my body, and the …

How I’m Accepting the Uncertain Future (with Less Worry and More Joy)

By in Blog, change & challenges

“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” ~Ferris Bueller

For as long as I can remember, my life has consisted of change.

I grew up moving around the world. I went from Canada to Pakistan, Egypt to Jamaica, Ghana to Ukraine, then finally China to Australia.

Moving to new countries and adapting to new cultures is like a cold plunge to your entire system and way of being. I felt I had no choice but to fit in as quickly as possible.

By the age of six or …

How I Changed My Perspective When I Was Too Angry to Be Grateful

By in Blog, change & challenges

This is not your usual piece about gratitude.

I am sure you’re familiar with all the benefits of having a regular gratitude practice.

Chances are you, as a reader of this blog, have a gratitude routine of yours. I was one of you. I have been regularly gratitude journaling for over a year now. I have experienced all the promised benefits of it myself.

Gratitude journaling has helped me reduce my stress, get better sleep, and feel more energized. It improved my mental well-being so much that I even started a social media page to encourage others to practice gratitude.…