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Am i a bad person

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  • #91774
    SB1000
    Participant

    Hi
    I just need some help and i don’t really know what to do so i thought i would ask on here as there is no harm.

    Anyway im a young man between aged 20-25 don’t want to give to much details away just in case. But i meet a girl and we became very good friends, over time though i began to feel things for this person but was fully aware they were in a relationship and when i heard that i knew not to do anything speaking from experience of my parents. however as time goes on things got a little out of hand but only a couple of times and we didn’t do it again for two years now. However recently she came to me and went what i feel like was a bit of a blame game about the situation and admitted to using me to feel happy, which we all do and i guess it did sting but i forgave her, however recently they told there other half and now i feel they may split up because of me and what i have done and that is not what i intended at all, all i done was told her how i feel and be honest which she asked for in this friendship, i got played and now this and i am feeling awful because she is my friend and i dont want to feel like a bad guy i want to remain friends but just feel all over the place for the last few days and i didn’t mean anything at all. i dont really know what im asking i just dont know what to do. i dont want to lose my friend.

    so any advice or anyone who has been in a similar situation to me and can give advice i would appreciate it and please dont judge me just feel so angry and confused at myself i guess

    thanks

    #95129
    Cara
    Participant

    No, you aren’t a bad person. You are a good person for being honest and for trying to still be friends with someone that hurt you. Now if you continued in this behavior and repeatedly engaged in behaviors that hurt other people, you might start to become a bad person, although I don’t even know if that’s true or not. I’m not a psychologist. I would say however, if you are feeling like you’re a bad person, you should talk to a therapist. They will be able to help you work through some of these feelings. There are a lot of free options out there, and although I like to think of myself as a great advice giver, I am nowhere near qualified to give you any advice at all. But from what you’ve written I don’t think you are a bad person.

    #96089
    Samwise
    Participant

    You cannot remain friends so I suggest you get that out of your thoughts. Accept your responsibility in the choices you made. If you don’t learn the lessons, they will happen over and over.

    The feelings are there and just allow yourself to see and acknowledge them. Let anger come out thru working out or running. You know that you are better off. The pain is real and stays there for a while, but trust me. One day you wake up and you realize that you don’t even feel it anymore. Life goes on and better things await you. Cut all contact and just move on. No need for anything else. Time will give you what you are seeking in terms of healing, but you gotta put in your part. Good luck!

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