Hey folks!

As 2015 is coming to an end, I am more enthusiastic about welcoming 2016 and telling 2015 to do one. It hasn’t really been a good year for me, but at the same time I’ve had worse years. As the year comes to a close, I like to reflect on the year in passing and note down what I’ve learned, what I’ve gained, what I’ve lost and what I hope to take with me to next year and beyond. Believe me, I’ve learned a lot. Just can’t learn anything without learning it the hard way, I guess – typical me, always was (and will be) a glutton for punishment!

I learned the hard way that things don’t always go according to plan. As some of you may remember from any number of my previous posts – things didn’t end well for me when I went abroad to teach English. I was also hoping to score a teaching job in China but the program organizers never got back to me. Whilst building up expectations only to face rejection is unbearably frustrating and disappointing, not getting what you want could be a blessing in disguise. Sadly my grandmother passed away in October – if I’d have landed the teaching gig in China I would have had to depart for September and I wouldn’t have been around to see my gran for the last time. We were quite close as well.

I learned the hard way that some people just aren’t meant to see eye to eye. Nothing we can do about it. Harbouring grudges and imagining spiteful horrid things happening to another person whom you perceive to have wronged you – it might seem like you feel just for thinking bad things towards them, obsessing over them and wishing ’em dead but I have found this to be ultimately futile. You can wish all kinds of bad things upon another person but they are just getting on with their lives and you are still obsessing over the past. The other person probably isn’t thinking about you at all. They will probably forget you sooner or later. And no, I haven’t quite conquered this mind-obstacle yet but it’s gotten to the point where I can see how futile and exhausting it is to bear grudges.

I learned that life is full of surprises. I learned that I surprise myself. I learned that despite the fact I would describe myself as an anxious timid shy person at best, I am capable of moving out of my comfort zone and doing things that would have terrified me six years ago (public speaking in front of sixty-odd loud teenagers). I learned that sometimes you just have to get on with it, and when you finish delivering that presentation in front of a load of people you don’t know (and it goes off without a hitch), you feel like an absolute badass.

I learned the hard way that people change. People are allowed to change and grow. A few years down the line, maybe a person won’t be interested in the same things any more. A few years down the line, a persons experiences will have changed their outlook and attitudes.

I learned the hard way that other people, the world, the universe et cetera – owes me bugger all, and that other people are under no obligation whatsoever to give me what I want or need. Life ain’t fair. Simple as. Can’t always have my own way. I can throw all the tantrums and strops I want to – as fun as that would be, it isn’t going to get me anywhere. If there is something you want or need, some degree of effort needs to be involved!

I learned that if things aren’t working out for you, try something else. Just try and do something about it. Maybe you will succeed, maybe you will fail. The important thing is you just try.

I learned the hard way that some people are just emotionally draining, emotionally abusive and toxic, they probably have no idea they are being toxic and they probably won’t listen to you when you call them out on their behaviour. I learned the hard way that people I once had respect for have clearly built themselves up from belittling others with their condescending remarks. It is just best not to deal with people like that at all.

I wasn’t really fussed about Christmas this year, I just can’t wait until this year is over more than anything else.

And no, I’m not getting my hopes up by thinking that 2016 is going to be a million times better and that I’m finally going to do/see/receive/attain all of the things I want – I have learned that it’s best not to have any expectations.

2015 has been a rubbish year but I firmly believe life is for learning, buggering up occasionally and making mistakes to learn from. 2015, you have been one tough teacher. Not as tough as 2012/2013 but you have still been an absolute bugger. But you can’t have good without having the crap, I guess.

I feel like I have this sudden surge of confidence in me all of a sudden – like I think to myself “After all the crud I’ve had to put up with, the next bad thing isn’t going to defeat me just yet so bring it on! I don’t care!” I’m in battle mode at the moment. Determined to be more active in carrying out my goals. In spite of the whole “it’s better not to have expectations and plans because they could just end up backfiring” I do have goals and plans for 2016 and I can’t wait.

How about you folks? What did you learn from this year? Was it a good year for you or was it a not-so-good year? Did you receive any wisdom and insights?

Peace and love

Joe