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FB and my relationship

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Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)
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  • September 3, 2015 at 8:33 am #82772
    Leanne
    Participant

    So I am here about facebook, why facebook? well me and my boyfriend were going through old posts we had made together on fb as a fun thing. It turned really not fun when we started looking at his club posts(he is really in to cars so he is in car groups) We have been dating two years and there is stuff he has posted on fb within the past even few months that he never even mentioned to me. He would give like shout outs to people on the road he would see and I have never even heard of these people. Things he’s bought and stuff he has done that he hasn’t even told me about. It really hurts me, seeing that stuff cause he assures me that he tells me everything that goes on in his life. Worst part is when I ask him about this stuff he claims he can’t remember doing it or who the person is etc. I mean I love the man to death but this stuff hurts a lot, feels like I don’t even get close to being a friend by this point. I don’t want to break up with him tho, he told me he’d work to fix that and he’d tell me but I don’t know what to believe I just feel hurt.
    How can I accept this and move on, I wanna stay with him so breaking up isn’t an option. Just wish I could stop feeling so bad.

    Thanks

    September 3, 2015 at 9:36 am #82777
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Leanne:

    Maybe “Things he’s bought and stuff he has done” that he posted on fb but didn’t tell you about- maybe those things are not so important to him. Maybe he tells you about the important things, important to him. And maybe the things he posts on fb are not so important and that is why he doesn’t remember about them when you ask him. So MANY postings on fb- how can one remember all… those can have the importance of hiccups.

    anita

    September 3, 2015 at 12:29 pm #82807
    Jodi
    Participant

    My question would be are these things “secrets” or just stuff that he has interests in that maybe you aren’t all that interested in or he didn’t think you had an interest in? My partner and I are in tons of different fb groups that where we don’t share the common interest. I would agree with Anita, that he may not think they are important or that they would be interesting to you.

    ~Jodi

    September 3, 2015 at 4:15 pm #82815
    Leanne
    Participant

    I have told him those things are interesting to me and I would like to hear about them cause I care about him and care about his interests. Its more too of things that he has spent a lot of money on that seem big but he doesn’t tell me, he bought a model kit for $200 and we go model hunting all the time together but he still didn’t tell me about that, just his fb group. Plus i think the people thing is more the issue, I’ve told him I want to hear about that stuff but he just “forgets” to tell me. Not really sure if he is forgetting or something else. Maybe that’s a bit over dramatic but I have talked about this stuff with him tons of times, I thought he would have told me and it makes me sad that he didn’t.

    September 3, 2015 at 4:20 pm #82816
    Leanne
    Participant

    Plus and I forgot to mention this, there was a bunch of posts that seemed out of character for him to put on and I asked why he posted those(out of curiosity not maliciously) and he would say I don’t know, I don’t remember posting anything like that and he would even admit that his own posts were out of character and weird. It is confusing me greatly.

    September 3, 2015 at 8:58 pm #82827
    TriangleSun
    Participant

    I think you’re overreacting. Facebook is a tool for people to get attention and it sounds like that’s what he’s doing. Just let it go.

    September 4, 2015 at 8:11 am #82846
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Leanne:

    Well, there is substance to your concerns. You wrote about: “a bunch of posts that seemed out of character for him.”-

    What are those posts and how are they out of character for him? With details on this, we can examine your concerns further.
    anita

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