Dear David:

What you shared here is that before this relationship she was “very reluctant to be in relationship – she kept on telling me that she was not ready and that she still haven’t figured herself out” and you had “long period of depression with suicidal thoughts.”

Then the relationship happened and all was “perfect.” The two of you took a BREAK from your miseries and made something PERFECT. Only it wasn’t perfect. It would have been closer to perfect if the two of you talked- during your relationship- about your individual problems and helped each other with those. You ignored them and enjoyed the break/ vacation away from the problems.

And now they are back: her reluctance and your depression. Back to the beginning.

If you agree with my analysis here, you can- if you are able and willing- to try again with her but this time offer that the two of you communicate while in the relationship and help each other, help each other deal with the reluctance and depression and the causes for her reluctance and your depression. This time make it real, not “perfect.”

anita

Hey,

I totally agree with Perry and Anita. And would like to also add, that finding solution in a relationship is very dangerous and from the beginning it is not the best way to start a relationship by having in mind that someone will fix your problems for you.

My experience was similar, I was in relationship which started and I had some problems, thinking that with relationship my problems will go away, but that same problem I had was also one of the causes for ending the relationship. I know now, that going in a relationship before I fix all my problems is not a option for me. I do not want to burden someone else with my problems, since I am also a big burden for myself, so til then I know relationship is not something for me.

So the main point here is and i believe this is true, that before anybody starts a relationship they should fell good about themselves and then start something, otherwise that relationship will not work, even if in the beginning everything looks great.

Good luck