Dear Amie:

The injurie you describe, your father comments regarding your mother and child support and how you took it, understandably personally, is an injury that needs to heal. Such relational injury cannot be healed in a vacuum but only in the context of a relationship with a person, would have been great if it could be with your father, but not necessarily so. It can be beatufully healed within the context of a relationship with a boyfriend. You pay attention to how you feel with him, to when you feel scared and you share that with him. If he is aware enough and caring enough, healthy enough he will then give you the safety you need AT THE MOMENT OF YOUR ANXIETY. That is healing within a relationship context. If he assures you and comforts you when you feel anxious, you will have the safety you need to get stronger.

anita