Tulipsheepard,

I’m sorry for your difficult times, and hope you find some strength. It’s normal to feel sad after a breakup, and hating the very natural sadness that happens puts an extra layer on top of the already difficult grief. It’s like hating crying, and so when the tears begin to come, we punch ourselves in the cheeks. So we have the sadness and also bruised cheeks.

But the tears aren’t your enemy, friend, they’re part of the healing. They’re how we remember we’re human, have wonderful emotions, and the path we walked meant something to us. Such as, you tried really hard to make the relationship work, invested a lot of yourself into it, it mattered. And still, it broke. Of course there is sadness.

Consider, your mom might have difficulty with sadness, and so she tries to whitewash you. “Oh, stop it, you’re fine”. Some folks have difficulty being compassionately responsive to other people’s pain. Is your friend like that too? If you have no one, consider looking for a grief counselor or grief support group. Of course, you’re welcome to share more here on TB, many great huggers and wise souls.

Chin up, friend, your sadness reveals your beauty, it doesn’t obscure it.

With warmth,
Matt

Hey there…
I was in the same situation almost all my life..i felt alone and not worthy of anything…i hated waking up and feeling terrible about everything…i don’t know your exact situation but I know how you’re feeling…
I don’t know you but am certain that you’re not fat or ugly cause I felt like that too..i conditioned myself to believe that..
but here is what worked for me…what helped me and I hope that It will help you too…

I wrote a list of all the good things I have ever done…including the smallest thing such as the time I helped an old lady on the street,the time I gave someone something,the time my friend cried and I made her feel better…i wrote it down and read it everyday..it reminded me that am not a bad person and that my existence is important…

I talked to more people…listened to more people and as we shared our problems I found out that I wasn’t the only one who felt like that…i could relate to people and they to me,..just knowing that made me feel better,,,

I dressed to kill..lol…i would wake up,dress up,look in the mirror and tell myself that I was beautiful..at first I didn’t believe it but with time I started seeing it and I started feeling beautiful..

I don’t know if these things will work for you..but you won’t know that until you try it…and remember its okay to cry…cry when you feel like hurting yourself let the tears run then sleep..you’ll wake up feeling better…
but no matter what remember you are not alone..alot of people feel this way every day…and you’ll feel better even just by sharing your experience with someone…
be strong and all the best