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I don't think I'll ever find a job! I'm so discouraged!!

Homeā†’Forumsā†’Workā†’I don't think I'll ever find a job! I'm so discouraged!!

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Viewing 9 posts - 1 through 9 (of 9 total)
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  • #78146
    Jerris
    Participant

    I’m a 25 year old woman who graduated from college 2 years ago. I have a BA in Political Science. I am utterly confused as to what I’m supposed to do. I’m working on getting my teaching certification and I’m almost done with the coursework, but now I’m struggling with the task of finding a full time teaching job. No one will give me the time of day and I’m not even sure if I want to go into teaching now; but I don’t know what else I could do. My GPA wasn’t great, so grad school is out. I have to find a full time job in order to become certified in my state, but the job search has been an uphill battle.
    I’m just so worried and anxious. I have to find a job, since I won’t be able to stay on my parents’ health insurance after this year. I also have to pay back $4050 for the program. I just feel like a failure. I thought that I would have had everything figured by now. In college, I thought that I wanted to go to law school, but I realized that I didn’t and that was my sole reason for going into political science. I just don’t know what else to do. Nothing has ever really interested me other than traveling, and you can’t get paid to do that. I’m just so confused!!

    #78147
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Jerris:
    This is not the time to figure things out. You are distressed and down on yourself. Breathe. Calm down, slow down. Your brain is full with agitations, like ripples in a pond. Overly thinking now only creates more turbulance in the water. You need to stop this kind of thinking and focus on your breath or sounds until you are calm. Then come back to the computer….

    These are the facts:

    You have a BA in Political Science.
    You are almost done with teh coursework required to get your teaching certification.
    You are looking for a full time teaching job.
    Your health insurance will be terminated in 2016.
    You are in debt of $4050.

    The rest is ineffective overactivity of the mush of neurons in between your ears.

    Lots and lots of people do not know what they are doing. Most people stumble into this or that. It is onloy the very small minority of people who have a clear and consistent idea of what they want to do “when they grow up.” It is not human nature to have a lifetime clear motivation and plan… Most people stumble in the dark or change directions again and again.

    When you are calm your thinking is at its best. Deal with the facts and focus on what is in front of you.

    Your goal right NOW is to get a teaching job: take small steps, one day at a time. Plan only one day at a time, one hour at a time, if needs be. You can only do what you can do- look for the job, you cannot control the job market and other people. If you don’t get a job-it will not be the end of the world! Just focus on what you CAN do and be willing to live with the worst case scenario (no teaching job, teaching certification on hold, no health insurance (free clinics?) and the loan ON HOLD. Big deal. No, really, big deal!

    Regarding traveling and what else, deal with it LATER. For now, look just at what is in front of you
    anita

    #78226
    kristenf
    Participant

    WOW Jerris, just WOW. It’s like you were telling my story. I’m 24 years old, graduated from college in 2013, and had pretty much the EXACT same experience as you, minus a few details. It’s been so difficult for me that I actually just wrote a blog post about it on my website last week. I copy/pasted it for you here and maybe you will get something out of it.

    And if you’d like to chat some more, let me know. šŸ™‚

    ā€œRemember that wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure.ā€

    ā€œAnd, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.ā€

    – Paolo Coelho, The Alchemist

    Two and a half years ago, I graduated from college. I was unbelievably ready for the next chapter of my life, I felt absolutely on top of the world, and couldnā€™t wait to get out there and grab life by the reins. I graduated with a 3.78 GPA, academic achievement excellence awards, high honors, and the respect of my fellow classmates. I was flying high. I couldnā€™t have been more optimistic and ready for what was to come next. And I couldnā€™t have been more wrong about what was about to happen during the next two years of my life. These were the expectations that I had set for myself:

    1) I wanted a job offer at least two months prior to graduation.

    2) I needed a salary of at least $35,000 to cover all of my bills. Not a whole lot to ask for right?

    3) I was SO ready to move out of my parents house into an apartment with my boyfriend and begin our lives together.

    4) I would become a young, successful businesswoman, excelling in all the endeavors I chose to take on. šŸ™‚

    5) I was going to be happy, and damn, was I going to feel proud of myself.

    This is what I was looking forward to. And it seemed very obtainable. In my mind.

    Little did I know that after long hours of extensive preparation, graduating with more accolades than I could count, being placed in the good graces of all my professors, and completing hours of community service, would get me exactlyā€¦ nowhere.

    Okay, okay, Iā€™m exaggerating a bit, but thatā€™s exactly how I felt. I had spent a significant amount of time applying for and interviewing with on-campus interviews, attending workshops at the local career center, and diligently showing up to scheduled career fairs. I spoke to hiring unions, marketing firms, insurance companies, non-profits, graduate schools, law schools, hell I even spoke to FBI and CIA recruiters at one point! I was up for anything. I knew I wanted to be successful, I knew I was going to be successful, and I had given 110% in everything that I had laid a hand on in college. Iā€™d put in the extra work, went above and beyond, and helped my fellow students. I knew God would reward me for my good intentions. I just knew.

    Wellā€¦ to make a long story short, basically what happened was this: I received absolutely NO job offers coming out of college. After three stubborn months of unemployment, rejection letters, and drowning my tears in sorrow, I began working as a Tutor at a Behavioral Analysis company for children with Autism. It was a part-time job making $14/hr. and I was broke. I had moved in with my boyfriend, barely had enough money to purchase groceries let alone pay the bills, and my confidence level had plummeted to just about, below zero. My student loan starting to kick in, and I felt as if the walls would come crashing down at any moment. I was in constant terror of running out of money, being kicked by my boyfriend, and felt as if God had completely forgotten about me.

    Now what happened to me DEFINITELY does not happen to every college graduate. There are so many people out there who go on to become very successful very quickly, who are presented with great opportunities as the result of their hard work and diligent networking skills. But, what I discovered is that my experience is an extremely common one. When I started speaking to friends about what was going on, they shared with me that they were in the same boat as well.

    It happens to A LOT of us. We believe that Powerpoint presentations, endless research papers, and showing up to class on time amounts to ā€œExperts in Microsoft Office and Great Time Management Skillsā€ on our resumes. We believe that college skills equal full-time employment skills. That if an employer would just give us a chance, weā€™d show them! That all the hard work we had put in for the last four years have prepared us for the cold, dark world of deadlines, salaries, and managerial skills. We think weā€™re prepared, but little do we knowā€¦we have no idea what in the hell weā€™re doing.

    My story didnā€™t quite end there though. In the end, I got what I wanted. I worked my way up at the company, I went back to school due to the urging of others telling me that Iā€™d never get anywhere unless I got a graduate degree, and I ended up getting promoted. I got my $40,000 salary, two weeks of paid vacation per year, and the status of being called a ā€œBehavior Consultant.ā€ I wasnā€™t just a Tutor anymore, I was a ā€œConsultantā€ now. And you know what else I was? Miserable.

    Each Friday night as I got off work I already dreaded going back on Monday mornings. I was bored out of my mind when completing my graduate schoolwork and spent the majority of my time either on Facebook or online shopping. I just wasnā€™t interested. My stress level was at the highest I had ever remembered in my entire life, and my daily demeanor resembled that of a zombieā€™s. I simply broke down. I absolutely knew this couldnā€™t be what I had worked so hard for. I knew that through prior life experiences there had to be more out there. I deserved to be happy. I deserved to have a career that I actually somewhat enjoyed. I deserved to have a work-life balance. Despite the voices of everyone telling me that everyone needs to ā€œpay my dues,ā€ I knew that paying my dues wasnā€™t going to get me anywhere on the path that I was on. Except miserable. I needed to make a change.

    Now, Iā€™m not recommending that what Iā€™m about to say next is the best thing to do for everyone who feels or felt the way that I did, but with the unconditional support of my family, my friends, and myself, I was able to find the courage to start over. I put in my two weeks, called the University to let them know I would not be continuing with their Masterā€™s program (after a full year in), and decided to reassess my situation.

    There were so many times when I thought to myself, ā€œI absolutely cannot do this, I have to succeed, Iā€™m going to let everyone down, Iā€™ve made a commitment and I have to stick to it.ā€ I was so afraid of what others would think, of the shame I would feel, of being perceived as a quitter, as lazy, or worst of all, of everyone thinking that I thought I was better than everyone else, that I didnā€™t have to do the same amount of work as the rest of the world. That I was too proud to pay my dues.

    But the truth is, is that I believe that act was an act of courage. I had enough faith in myself to know that there was something better out there for me, some type of work that would make me happier, that I would be better at, that would be more enjoyable, a place where I would be able to make a more useful contribution to this world, but just through a different method. I had enough trust and past experiences with God to know that I would be taken care of. That God did have a plan for me.

    Today I work a part-time job helping my mom taking care of children. I have enough money to pay the bills and I go to work with a smile on my face. I recently started this blog as a way to start doing what Iā€™ve always wanted to do even if I donā€™t get paid for it. My goals have changed, my dreams have changed. What I look forward to now has changed. Today, I look forward to this:

    1) I want to share with others what I believe to be true in my heart.

    2) Iā€™d like to find the humility to perform honest labor with a positive attitude.

    3) Iā€™d like to contribute to othersā€™ lives in a meaningful manner.

    4) Iā€™m not going to wait until someone pays me to start doing what I love.

    5) I find time each day to better those relationships that mean the most to me.

    And I’m proud of myself for that last one. I used to spend so much time either actually working or obsessing and worrying about work, that I didn’t have time for my family and friends. But I’ve realized that that’s not something that I’m willing to give up. I’d rather have the people I love know and feel that I love them, than know that I’m “successful.”

    Through this blog Iā€™ve brought together all the different aspects of myself. Iā€™ve put my heart and soul into taking what Iā€™ve learned throughout my life and sharing it with others. My interests are widespread, and together they include: people, style, spirituality, health, cooking, beauty, exercise, and most of all, personal growth. Iā€™ve always wanted to reach people but I had no idea how, and after two dark years Iā€™ve finally found the light. Iā€™m happier than Iā€™ve ever been, I feel more in control of my life than I have in long time, and although I may not be reaping the benefits of PTO and prestige, I get to giggle and laugh on a daily basis, be present for each and every one of my experiences, and sleep peacefully and well every single night. Today, I get paid in love. I get paid in joy. In satisfaction in a good day’s work and a day well spent.

    Here is a link to an article I read that might also be helpful for you:

    http://www.beyond.com/articles/ways-to-keep-your-head-up-when-the-job-search-drags-on-17331-article.html

    #79772
    Rhys
    Participant

    Thank you for sharing Kristen, I was drawn to the beauty in your smile but your story and the courage you have shown just as beautiful. Truly inspirational. For the moment I hope to show the strength and courage you have shown, you have shed light on my situation that will bring me closer to action. Thank you dearly.
    Rhys

    #79829
    Jan T
    Participant

    Hello Jerris,

    You have received some wonderful input here. I just want to add that it is absolutely possible to get paid for traveling. Nothing is impossible. And believe me, jobs for corporate America as well as the education industry are totally over-rated.

    Just google “how to get paid to travel” and you will see.

    If this doesn’t suit you, try googling how to use your teacher credentials in other ways. Do a little research and you may find something that surprises and delights you.

    Never give up!

    #79928
    Jan T
    Participant

    P.S. I have a friend who used to give talks at Unity Churches all over the country. He always announced at his talks what country he was going to travel to. He arranged wonderful tours and anyone could sign up. I went to China and Hong Kong for two weeks with one of his tours and about 40 other people. It was the tour of a lifetime. He was able to go for free and was possibly paid a commission on top of that for arranging the tour with the tour company. Another idea for making money while traveling. Being a teacher, you could do research and be a great guide.

    #79940
    Hayley WIntermantle
    Participant

    Hi Jerris,

    I know that it can feel difficult when you feel like you haven’t achieved everything you want. So often we set goals and expectations for ourselves that we should have everything figured out by a certain age or time and then we put pressure when we don’t achieve it. It sounds like you’ve already figured certain things out about what you DON’T want, by not going into Law, and this is just as important in helping you get closer to what you do want.

    You mention that you’d like to travel – what is it that attracts you to travelling? What is the feeling that you’re after? Is there anyway to recreate this feeling now? When I was dissatisfied in my role last year, I worked on finding satisfaction in other areas of my life in order to take the pressure of the career side of things.

    Also perhaps in the interim period you could look for a job to bring in some money. This does not have to be your dream job but something to give you some stability, perhaps save and give you the space to reflect on what you want longer term. Remember you’ll be working until you’re at least 60 so there’s plenty of time to figure it all out.

    xx

    #94982
    Cher
    Participant

    I can relate to Jerris.

    Here’s my story:

    My family, all in the medical field, were disappointed that I didn’t follow in their footsteps, either becoming a nurse or doctor. They didn’t understand that math and science were my weakest subjects and I felt at home when I took Graphic Design as my major. I was passionate about art. My artwork even went on to compete in design competitions with professionals, even though I was just a student. I won awards and even an internship in a small e-commerce company for a few months prior to graduation. I felt confident that this was what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.

    After graduation I had a difficult time finding work. After a year, I found a friend who owned a design company and he took me in. I was working for two years in the company until it had to start cutting off workers due to the economy going down. Next thing I knew I was doing projects without pay and decided to look for other options. I went to an adult school and brushed up on my web design skills. I had survived with a few freelance projects after finishing, but it still wasn’t enough to live off of. Then I decided to switch gears and decided to take a customer service representative job recommended by a friend from church. The job was difficult. I did everything I could to survive in the job: I took accurate messages, relayed the messages on time to my boss, provided customer service support for small business merchants according to the guidelines of the company and still my boss yelled at me day after day. He always asked me, “Do you really feel you did your best?” I felt like I couldn’t do anything right. I couldn’t sleep at night, celebrated every Friday like it was Christmas, and dreaded Monday mornings like death. After just 6 months in that job, I left.

    My prior experience in my customer service job haunted me so I also decided to brush up on my business math and accounting skills just so I can be more marketable in any job. I also joined a job club so I can network and meet more people. I established a connection with one job seeker and planned to maybe put up a small business to get both of us out of unemployment. After working a lot together on a business plan, I started developing feelings for him, maybe because I felt glad that for once, someone didn’t judge me for my struggle to find a job. Once he found out that I developed feelings for him, he laughed in my face. I felt like he slapped me in the face with my own feelings. I didn’t feel like keeping this connection was healthy so I terminated the project, cut my connections, and decided to focus on my business math class and volunteering at a history museum.

    I take responsibility for all the quitting I’ve done, but after much evaluation with everything I got myself in to, I always felt like I was at the end of my rope.

    So here I am, 10 years later, still fearing the future. I feel better getting my story out there, however, if the Tinybuddha community has any words of encouragement, I’m all ears!

    #95069
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Cher:

    I read your share of what happened ten years ago. It was a struggle and you tried so very hard! What is happening with your life now, ten years after?

    anita

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