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Feeling Abandoned

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  • #78082
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear marki:
    i am sorry for your pain. As to your question: “Am I the one not trying hard enough?” I think you ARE trying hard enough- not trying is not your problem, I think. MAybe is is in HOW you are trying. So I would examine the HOW.

    I wonder if there is a way for you to get feedback from a friend who unfriended you as to the why. I don’t know if such will answer you if you asked, if he/ she will answer you honestly… feedback from a decent, mature-enough, trusted individual will help. Finding out what you put out there and what are the responses. For example if you go on and on about the same thing and you don’t listen to the other’s input… if the other feels invisible because you only do the “me, me, me” talking…. I don’t know. Investigate….find out, get information, and proceed from there.

    It is like the scientific method: there is the PROBLEM, HYPOTHESIS.. then gathering information, observations, analysis. Find out…
    anita

    #78105
    Lola Deedes
    Participant

    Hey marki,

    I have been through a similar situation. I wasn’t popular at school but I had friends and had friends after school, people who I spoke to all the time via text or phone calls and would
    Meet up regularly. But whenever I wanted to do something different no one would want to do it with me so I always would do the things everyone else wanted to do. It got to a point where I started growing up and my friends just fell away one by one, I realised that they didn’t care about me and that was really hard. I couldn’t understand it, had I done something wrong? No one would tell me why or if I had done anything wrong. But I realised that you can’t rely on your friends for anything. People come and go. When you speak to adults, it is rare that adults are still friends with the friends from school. It’s a learning curve, don’t take it personally – if anything take the positive. You don’t want to waste your time with people who don’t care about you. If people care about you they will make the effort to be in your life. You shouldn’t be trying hard with them – friendships should be easy and simple. You’ll find your friends as you grow up. Live your life. Be confident and happy within yourself and then people will be attracted to you. I was the same, I thought I was selfish but couldn’t understand why none of my friends were there for me when I was going through tough times. But you have to be strong enough in yourself first. Don’t blame yourself because it’s not you – it’s them! Hope that helps a bit!

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