Trying to come out of my struggles - need kind words

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This topic has 5 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 9 years, 4 months ago by Bethany Rosselit.

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May 31, 2015 at 5:22 pm #77539

heal2014
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Hi everyone,

After a prolonged illness with a severe anxiety disorder due to bullying at workplace and a few other highly stressful situations, I am trying to renter the workforce. I am doing very well when compared with a few years back, thanks to meditation, exercise and unconditional support from family and friends.

However, I am still getting disturbed by a number of factors. I need to maintain an active profile on Linkedin and this is freaking me out. I am paranoid I might end up chancing upon the profile of one of the bullies from the past. I am worried that they might be doing very well in their lives while I am still trying to rebuild my life and still suffering from their words and actions, still giving them power over me. I am scared they might have moved to someplace near my city and I might bump into them. I have tried forgiving etc but the stress and anxiety is still there.

All I am asking is for some kind and encouraging words to give me some wisdom and strength to come out of this difficult period.
If I do not succeed in coming out of this , my marriage and parents health will be ruined forever.

Thanks for reading.

May 31, 2015 at 6:43 pm #77545

Anonymous
Guest

Dear heal2014:
There are several websites for victims of bullying, one or more specific for bullying in the workplace. You may find comfort there…? Google, perhaps.

Fear/ anxiety is very tough. I read in a poem: “Every one of us has to find a way to live with fear.”

take care;
anita

June 1, 2015 at 5:46 am #77567

Matt
Participant

Heal2014,

Congratulations on coming so far! Consider how much personal development has been inspired by those bullies. Meditation, exercise, connecting to unconditional love. Wow! Such great teachers they have been for you! Perhaps now you’re ready to forgive them for being fools and throwing stones at a gentle being?

With meditation, perhaps you have learned how to unclench your fist around ideas and thoughts, letting yourself breathe and let go of previous moments like ripples in a pond. Now, perhaps its time to unclench the fist around heal2014, so you can see that you have grown up since the last stones were thrown. Said differently, you’ve moved into good nurturing habits, and so even if you encounter the same bully, they will not encounter the same heal2014.

With warmth,
Matt

June 1, 2015 at 2:09 pm #77583

pamela farrar
Participant

I’m sorry you’ve had to go thru this struggle. I have been battling a debilitating depression and in the last 3 years I’ve been in a death spiral…the last 3 yrs the result of many, many yrs finally catching up with me. Right now ….well let’s just say I’m trying to have faith and hope. I tell u that to say from what little you’ve shared I think you’re doing great. You may not feel like u are but please try to believe sometimes our feelings…well i hope this makes some sense to you…sometimes our feelings don’t truly reflect our situation. I’m not explaining this very well but it sounds to me like you’re on your way even if it doesn’t feel that way to you now. You gave yourself credit by saying you’re doing very well compared to where you were 3 yrs ago. I tell myself everyday that fear is the opposite of faith. I think you are so smart and very self aware of you and that’s huge. One thing u said I would ask that u think about…u said if u don’t succeed your marriage and parents health will be forever ruined. That’s very selfless of you and shows so much love on your part but you left out the most important person…you. Take care of you, love you, believe in you by doing that you will and I believe you are succeeding. By taking care of you being kind to yourself, the healing you experience will take care of them. Be patient with yourself and give yourself credit for the work you’ve done and how far you’ve come. Sorry so long….I’m sending good thought your way. And although it’s not easy have faith in yourself and the good things that are coming your way.
Take care……Pamela

June 6, 2015 at 4:41 pm #77796

BenzRabbit
Participant

Hi Heal,

You are dealing with fear – Do not give it any more power !

The past is done and the chance of you running into the same people again is very small. It is time to move forward !!

There is a higher power that will guide and protect you – have Faith in it and in Yourself !!!

Here are links to 2 short articles that will help you:

http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/Pages/overcoming-fears.aspx

http://www.wikihow.com/Deal-with-Workplace-Bullying-and-Harassment

GOD Bless !

June 7, 2015 at 7:50 am #77806

Bethany Rosselit
Participant

Hi Heal2014,

Bullying (and I hate that it is called that, BTW! I think “harrassment” is a better word) is a traumatic experience. You mind is trying to keep you safe, on a subconscious level, and looking for threats wherever it can find them.

Focusing on meeting your basic needs and calming your body and mind can help you to look more deeply at your fears, so that you can help your mind feel safe in a new way. Calm down first, then start asking why you feel so afraid. How are you afraid of being judged?

And be kind to yourself. Healing takes time.

Bethany Rosselit
http://onlinetherapyandcoaching.org
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