So I’m in college which on one hand is young but I also know a lot of friends who are in or have been in relationships. Anyway, I have never had an official boyfriend. The high school I went to had the same kids I’d always gone to school with, plus back then I wasn’t the most attractive person ever and was focused on school, dance and cheer, not silly “relationships”. Come senior year, I had finally grown out of the ugly stage, had met guys from other schools. I’d gone to the movies with guys, kissed guys but nothing serious. Every time a guy wanted to take it further, I ran. I stopped talking to him and moved on. I always thought it was because I was less experienced, that everyone had lost their virginity and I hadn’t. Yet over the summer I did lose it to some guy I didn’t like and barley knew just for the sake it of. Went away to school, gained plenty of experience but yet again met a guy who when I started to actually have feelings for ran. I justified this one by saying that I was changing schools and it would be pointless, which on one hand is true. Now I’ve been talking to thus guy who I used to work with. He’s genuinely nice, has paid when we went out for coffee and for lunch. Texts me to see how my day is going. I even went fishing for the first time with him a few days ago. He’s actually a nice guy for once, easy to be around etc. But he admitted that he did in fact like me and wanted to take things slow. Now once again I dread seeing his name pop up on my phone, I have no desire to follow through on the plans we made for next week…I just want to disappear on him. And I don’t know why. He’s done nothing wrong, just like everyone else. Obviously I can’t keep running from every single guy or I’ll end up all alone but I don’t know how to push past this and actually give someone a chance for once.