First time writing a post like this, not sure how coherent my story will go. Im 25 and she is 22 this year and we were classmates in uni.
Probably the worst kind of break up anyone could get and to make it worst, it was my first relationship. We were together for 15 months and she broke up with me to pursue another relationship with her ex colleague (colleague while she was working during the school holidays) while i was away on exchange. The way she broke it off was sending a text on the last day of my paper and was 2 days away to coming back to my country. Hit me pretty hard as i had no support being overseas but i managed to get back. First few weeks was hard to get by, was constantly seeking help from my friends. Mistake i made was to seek help from our mutual friends from school. Its been 4 months now and I’ve been getting weird vibes or tension with some of our mutual friends, not sure if its in my head or sides are being taken but we still speak to each other normally. Another mistake was that i tried to get her back during the first 2 weeks, during our last one on one talk she keep insisting that she likes him and didnt dared to look at me. I gave up as i see it was going nowhere and said ‘if you want to be with him throw my things away, i dont think we can be friends’ and walked away. Later that day she sent a text saying that i didnt really love her, if i did i would not have left her there again.

Im a pretty passive and homebody guy and she took the initiative to text me while i was recovering at home as i broke my ankle from an ice skating outing together. After that i ask her out while i was in the process of my physio therapy. Technically i was going to wait till i could walk normally as i felt bad knowing she feels responsible as she was the only one who knew how to skate and ask us out. I didnt wait as she was getting impatient through her text and I asked her to accompany me to physio and asked her out. Throughout the relationship, it wasnt all smooth sailing as we quarreled the first few days we got together. If i remembered correctly it was about some disagreement and she said i wasnt ready and serious about getting together. There was also alot quarrels between her and her mother. We quarreled about the food i ate as she said it was unhealthy, about a folded plastic bag invention for umbrella which i didnt want to take from her and then she said that im not supportive of her. She has panic attack when she gets stress about during exams which i am unable to help her every time i tried. Only her younger sister could though sometimes she says that she is being mistreated by her. This guy she met at work, im guessing he ask her out for lunch and she told me and i told her she could go as he is some sort of a supervisor/mentor to her and if anything you feel uncomfortable, you should leave. After that she felt kinda distant during my last few months of the exchange. During the third month of moving on i found a blog that she wrote using a nickname that i knew (i know i shouldnt be stalking but i stop after i read this), she said that i didnt love her as much as she did and then later on said that her love for me was like sibling and puppy love which was very contradicting. She also said that this guy sweep her off her feet and loves how forgetful he is but not on the dates that were special, which im sure she is comparing to me cause I miss out on our first month or that i didnt make a big deal or celebration about it. Before i went on my exchange i hand made cards for every month i was away and a picture of us on the dates we went. She keeps insisting that i didnt put in effort in the relationship which maybe true as ive only taken her to the movies but during the time we were together we were still studying and to me i felt that we have a long way to go. She also keep insisting that she wasnt the type of girl who will date anyone and i could trust her but in the end it came down to this. Sorry if the last paragraph was all around the place.

I could feel that i am in the process of moving on but i keep thinking of her but not the memories anymore and its hard for me to concentrate with studying though its my last semester. Not sure is the fear of being alone or if i will find anyone for me as I am an introvert and slow to open up to people and my hobbies are playing games and hanging out with my close group of friends. Not sure if throughout the relationship i should stand to my believes where i dont do things that i cant deliver but in the end i ended up doing the things she wants me to do and being a doormat to her. She had said it to me before that im in a tough love, abusive relationship which i just brush it off as a joke. I may have come out as an unromantic guy thats why the guy was able to sweep her off her feet. She did do alot of stuff for me or bought stuff for me which some i told her not to. She is a nice girl but may come out as spiteful when she is angry and unable to make decisions which she will complaint later about it that things did not go the way she wants it to, like me. I was happy alone before i ask her out and not caring about what people say and living my own life doing what i like. Im not sure how a sweet looking girl could be so hurtful but still im finding the courage and strength to move one, really disappointed at how things turn out like tension between our mutual friends. Not sure if i should have saw it earlier….