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Just a random question about men…

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  • #71817
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    I am curious to know why it is that some men feel the need to throw in an inappropriate joke whenever they do something that is actually quite kind or romantic? It’s almost like they are trying to negate or distance themselves from whatever sweet or romantic emotion they were feeling that prompted them to do the kind thing or say the romantic words in the first place. Has anyone else experienced this, or is it just me? I really don’t understand this. I have been with my husband for close to thirty years…high school sweethearts in fact, so we have basically grown up together. I love him very much and after many years of thinking that I could perhaps change some of his ways, I am now trying very hard to learn to accept my husband for exactly who he is. The problem is, although nothing serious, his jokes sometimes hurt (and this wasn’t the first time). Here’s the situation: He texted me the other day to go look up the song 500 miles redone by Haley and Michaels….absolutely beautiful song btw. We weren’t fighting or anything, he did it just randomly and as luck would have it, it was exactly what I needed to hear at the moment. Beautiful right? Well, the next text said “Oops! Sorry…wrong number!” What was a beautiful moment for me was tarnished and now when I hear the song, I don’t think about the love that I know what behind his words, but rather I remember the joke. If anyone can explain this phenomenon or advise me how to let go of the disappointment that I feel, I would be grateful.

    #71822
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Because some men will never grow up and they shouldnt be taken too seriously when they joke. As long as they do it out of silly love and not out of spite, its still okay.

    #71856
    Maggie Black
    Participant

    Some men have a fear of intimacy. They want to say these things to women but feel afraid so offset it with humor.
    I would just take what he said and forget the humor.
    Or you could used it on him so he can see how it feels.
    Or just tell him how it makes you feel.

    #72350
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hey, sorry this has taken me so long to get back to. Life has been busy, but I just wanted to express my thanks to Moongal and Maggie Black for their wise perspective. I just have to keep reminding myself that this is the man I married, I love him very much and that most of the time I DO appreciate his sense of humour. While the song maybe doesn’t hold quite the same magic for me as it did in the moment or two before he added the joke, I can now listen to it and appreciate his effort in bringing it to my attention in the first place.

    Thanks ladies!

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