Thank you Lee for your kind words. I have a friend that was from Scotland and moved to the US many years ago. She goes back often to visit and one day we hope to visit Scotland and all of Europe, one of our many dream vacations. 🙂

It took me a while to discover that the relationship was one-sided and it was very heartbreaking. I still have my moments that is for sure, but they are becoming fewer and fewer. Once I realized it I was very nervous and concerned about reactions and how I would be perceived, but with the help of my amazing therapist and husband I was given the strength to get through that. Once I wrote the letter to her I felt a huge weight off my shoulders. Originally, I was not going to send it, I wrote it in my journal. Then after sitting on it for a week, discussing it with my therapist I decided that deep down I knew I had to send it and I did. I then felt an even bigger weight off my shoulders. This week the weight has lifted even more when I realized that there is no reason for me to reply to her most recent email and that I am walking away from this relationship knowing I have done absolutely everything that I could possibly do to be a friend.

I am glad that I have discovered that I need to be happy with myself in order to be happy with everyone else. It is a huge revelation for me and I know that my son benefits from it the most. I also recently had a friend lose her 4-year-old daughter suddenly and she has shared many of her feelings with me. The one thing that has really struck home with me that has helped with me moving on is to not sweat the small things because you never know what the next moment will be. Through her I have learned to live life to the fullest and go for my hopes and dreams. I have also realized that if my son doesn’t eat all of his dinner and he still wants ice cream for dessert it is not the end of the world, as well as staying up 30-minutes past his bedtime to watch an educational show that he loves. Of course, these things do not happen every night and we do have limits (my son needs limits, routines, and direction).

Thanks again for your kind words. You have made the first step, which is the hardest, discovering that you don’t NEED anyone to be happy!! Your son will see that and learn from you. Take care! 🙂

Thanks Krista! This was a big step for me. 🙂 Take care!

Thank you Ayesha for your comments; however, I am a bit confused with what you are trying to say. Your statement, “Have faith in yourself.. just post it in Oprah… I have been read a lot about bisexual in Oprah websites.. I am sure there will be people support you!” tell me that you feel that I should not have posted my truth on Tiny Buddha. I am not going to apologize for my decision of posting this and if the moderator felt like I should not have posted this here I am sure they would have removed it, or contacted me directly.

I will apologize if I have misunderstood your statement; however, if my understanding is correct your statement is why it took me so long to decide whether or not to post my truth. I am who I am and I am PROUD of who I am, that is why I took this step to state my truth. I am not looking for another “girlfriend,” so your statement about being “straight” is irrelevant. There are reasons why I will not post to Oprah, or even go to the site, which I will not be sharing here.

I accept that everyone will not agree with my life and how I choose to live it, but I will not allow people with your mindset to hold me back. I have been held back and feared by people with that mindset for far too long. Again, I apologize if I have misunderstood your statement. Take care!

Thank you Matt for your insight. It has made me look at Ayesha’s comment differently. It is so hard to fully understand what people are saying through posts, texts, messages, etc, which is why I wanted to be sure to state that if I misunderstood that I apologize.

Also, her saying she was straight didn’t bother me, it was more the comment, “…just post it in Oprah…” That part is what really got me and made me look at her comment from a different aspect.

Thank you again for your insight and your kind words. My point of posting my truth was to show others that there are many things that people can overcome and that it is possible to move on; however, the most important part is to accept yourself for who you are and that will make your life much happier and peaceful.

I will keep smiling, hope you do too! 🙂 Take care!

Actually Matt, I did consider that was a possibility of what she meant after your first reply opened my eyes.

I am a bit tender, so I am sure that had something to do with my reaction. This being the 1st time that I put my truth out there to for other people to see/hear I was not sure what the reaction would be. I notice that I do have my walls up and expect the worst, something I still am working on.

Your words are so kind and thoughtful. Thank you! Also, thank you for opening my eyes to the different interpretations I truly appreciate it!

Take care!

Thank you Ayesha for responding and understanding my misinterpretation. It is hard to get people’s intentions when you don’t know them and you are just reading words on a screen. I apologize again for misunderstanding.

This conversation has opened my eyes and showed me that people’s intentions are usually positive. That is one reason why I wanted to post my truth on tiny buddha instead of another site. I have read many people’s posts on here and everyone is usually very honest, positive, and forthcoming on their thoughts. They also give another view to things, which is what I like. Other sites you usually get trolls and mean people that just poke and humiliate you, which just doesn’t make any sense to me.

I am like you I think everyone is special and has their own purpose in the world. Judging other people about who they are just doesn’t make sense to me, especially when it comes to their race, religion, sexual orientation, and lifestyle. Everyone has their own hopes and dreams and we all need to support those no matter how big or small. I know some people where their dream is something simple, like have a meal every night, and some that are very big, like be a millionaire with a huge house. Very different life goals, but one is not better than the other.

I think that is what played into some of the problems of my relationship with this other woman. Her family is more financially stable than my family. Her husband has a very good salary and supports them, she works for him, but has plenty of time to do other things (mostly with her children). She is able to buy and do pretty much anything she wants. On the flip side I work full-time, have a fairly average salary, my husband stays home with our son and does freelance work when he can. We live a very simple life and have had a lot of financial struggles. In the past year and a half we have downsized our life dramatically. She was always giving me a hard time about my husband needing to find work and help support our family. She often called him lazy and that I need to tell him to get a job so that we could be more financially stable and be able to go on adventures and big trips. In her eyes this would make my life “easier” and I would be happier.

The way I see it is my husband has a job. He stays home with our son. Yes, our son is 11 and can stay home alone for short periods of time, but we don’t want that. Our son also has autism and having a parent pick him up from school every day and bring him home is beneficial for him. My husband is able to help him with his homework if he is struggling and give our son the routine he needs to be successful. It also is makes our son feel more secure when both parents are at home at night and we get to have some family time. It works for us and personally I like supporting our family.

My husband supported our family for a number of years when I stayed home. When he got laid off from his job, I was finishing up my college degree (I was an “untraditional” college student, going to college later in life). He tried to find work with no luck. Then when I graduated we decided that I would be the head of household and he would stay home and freelance. Yes, we had to downsize and have our struggles, but it works for us. She never understood this and would give me a hard time often about it. It was one of my first wake-up calls that she was trying to make me be someone that I am not.

Sorry, that turned into a longer reply than I was thinking it would be, but it shows a little bit more about my relationship with this other woman and why I probably reacted the way I did to your original post. Again, I apologize and thank you for being open and honest with me, as well as understanding. It has taught me another lesson. 🙂

• This reply was modified 10 years, 3 months ago by Heather.

Thanks Ayesha for the quotes. I love both of them and needed to hear them this morning. Take care!