Hello everyone

I recently posted my first post in tough times, and have taken the decision to try and change my life for the better. One of the things I need to talk about is my past relationships, to get a different perspective on them, and maybe find out why they have all had such a short life span, again I’m not sure what to expect as I have never reached out to anyone about this, but here goes (names have been changed, just in case):

Emma – 2003
My first relationship, we had a bit of history before we actually got together back in school, she had told me she liked me back then but we never got together until a few years after secondary school (high school). She had a traumatic childhood and understandably had difficulty with her relationships with men. When we finally did get together it was everything I always thought a relationship would be emotionally, I was in love and she said she loved me. Physically however she wasn’t there, we were very rarely physically intimate with each other, but again, I put this down to her past and was more than happy to be patient, thinking that things would get easier as we progressed. After three months together however, she wrote me a letter saying she wanted to break up, I remember she wrote that it was all down to her and that I shouldn’t blame myself. I always did though, I just could not fathom what I had done wrong, we never argued and I always treated her well. I still miss her.

Kat – 2006
We got together after a mutual friend introduced us and she was almost the polar opposite of Emma, she was a very outgoing girl and was very open sexually. She and I were practically living together a few weeks after getting together, which I was fine with as we did both have our own places if we needed some space, but mostly she stayed with me in my flat. We enjoyed three months together but suddenly, out of the blue one morning she had taken all her stuff away and I could no longer get in contact with her, I tried calling, I tried going to her place, but to no avail. I never got an explanation and looking at it objectively I can’t think of any reason why she would have left like that, again we had never argued and I always treated her well.

Ashleigh – 2010
We met on an online dating site, and we hit it of quite well, we decided to meet up after some long chats/texting sessions. When I met her i found out that she had a serious medical issue, she had a particularly nasty form of epilepsy that required her to have 24 hour supervision from carers because she could at any point go into a fit. This did not deter me however as I thought she was very sweet and I’ve always thought that these things should not matter when it comes to relationships. It was difficult at the beginning as her carers were always around and she was very shy about being intimate (understandably so) we mostly spent time at her place watching films, and occasionally getting drunk, it was actually a lot of fun after a while. I had agreed to take a course on this particular form of epilepsy and be trained in how to deal with the attacks when they happen, so that we could finally spend some time alone together, but after three months she messaged me to tell me it was over, really before it had even begun, we were never physically intimate, we never got to that stage, and again was not offered a satisfactory explanation.

I’m sure you have noticed the common factor here, the duration of all my relationships have been pretty much three months, after which they have all had a change of heart and left with little to no explanation. Now I don’t expect anyone here to guess what they were, only they know that for sure, but it bugs me to no end. Is it something I’m doing wrong? Is it my depression maybe, I was always very open with them about it, but they never indicated that it was a problem. I’ve never argued with them, never treated them with anything but respect. Is it my own lack of confidence, which I always tried to hide from them, after all most women like a confident man.

I’m now at a point in my life where it is so difficult to get a relationship started with anyone, I’m disgusted with my physical self at the moment and that of course is a major obstacle. Anyway like I said, I don’t expect you guys to solve my issues for me, but maybe you have some insight that I do not. All replies are welcome.

Speak soon