Thank you, Daniel, for your insights.

It is my opinion though, that being kind is part of civil behaviour. It’s just not one of those things that would cause arousal in most people. A lovely way of being, of course, especially when it’s genuine. That’s another thing though. There are men out there who think that being kind entitles them to something in return, and that makes the whole thing rather ugly. There are also men who are polite towards hot women, but not towards plain women, and that’s where their true colours are shown. Not actually kind and generous, but passive aggressive and manipulative.

Men, and women, who show signs of a healthy body and a healthy mind are attractive. Attraction goes up along with the chances of survival. Of course there are all kinds of kinks and twists along the way, based on our personal experiences, but generally speaking, being a healthy and strong specimen will be attractive to others.

“You give a lot, and hope someone returns the favor…and over time, you start to get annoyed, resenting people, and the once giant heart you once gave so freely gets covered in gnarly scar tissue.
You look around, and you see people who are complete jerks with hot women that they don’t deserve, whom you could treat better.”

Giving in the hope of having favours come in return is not true giving. It is manipulating and if it bites you in the ass, maybe that’s a natural outcome. If you give out of an honest friendly well-meaning, and don’t give more than you have, none of this gnarly scar tissue will result. It is up to you whether you start to get annoyed and resent people. And it doesn’t hurt anyone as much as it hurts you when you do.

Hot women are not a prize you “deserve” by treating them well or scoring attractiveness points. They are human beings with their own hopes, dreams, neuroses and reasons for doing things. And this human being right here is moved, for some reason, to point out you sound like a boor in these couple of paragraphs.

Your advice is sound enough, but it sounds like you need it as much as anyone. Good luck with your shifting perspective.