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Two loves at the same time?Is it possible?

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  • July 29, 2014 at 12:11 pm #62152
    Mash
    Participant

    Hello everyone! I need your help because I’m at deadlock..

    We’re dating with my BF more than 2,5 years. I love him very much. He made a lot for me. He helped me to get over long depression and because of him I became like alive after all not good things happened in my life. I started to trust people and enjoy everything. He’s very reliable.

    But this summer happened one thing that changed everything in my head and finally I’m at deadlock. I and my friend (it wasn’t the first time) had a vacation 2gether without our BFs. There I met one guy from another country ( I need to say I’m not from English-speaking country and he’s from Europe).
    We spent some time 2gether. It was like practising my English for me because I really like this language. But then I understand it’s not like this. He’s like my soulmate, we’re talking a lot on different subjects, his point of view was so close to mine that I was confused. Shortly I understand it’s something between us and I can do nothing with myself.

    Now I’m home, he’s in his country and we’re chatting in FB. I can’t respect myself because I have my BF and I think I love him but I often think of another. How this could be? I understand I’m wrong, I shouldn’t behave like this but I can’t say him to leave me.. Inside of me I need him because nobody talk to me like he does and I feel lonely..

    On the other hand, I understand that I know him not so good as I could think.. Ahh it’s complicated. I’m confused and my heart and soul it’s like will be divided into 2 parts.

    I don’t know how to change this complicated situation.. I can’t break up with my BF-we’re dreaming of our flat, children and so on.. and my new friend- he’s so close to me.. I don’t know exactly what I feel to him, I can’t understand. But I should do something but how?

    Please help me! How can I understand what’s wrong with my relationship and my life that I’m thinking of another man..What to do?

    July 29, 2014 at 7:26 pm #62165
    David4500
    Participant

    Hi, i do have the same issue as you right now. i met this girl in my new working place. i am suppose to take over her duties roles as she was leaving the company. she has 1 month to pass down everything to me before she fly off back to her country. during that month, a lot happen. we talk about things, more than work related. issues like her current relationship. yes, we both have a partner during that time. Mine is going smoothly, but hers is not so well. her relationship has been bad since her ex-bf broke up with her few years back. she can’t find the right guy who can understand her. her current bf was in oversea for study at that time, their relationship hasn’t been doing well even before she know me. For me, i have a relationship that she love me more than i love her. she can’t give me the love i want, but i know she is a really good gf who is so hard to find anymore.

    we both, during that time, know how much we love each other. however, we are not fated to be together. this is what happen.

    i am only willing to give up my 5 years relationship for her. but the decision come too late. i only made up my mind when she flew away. when she finally met up with her current bf, everything change. she decided to give her bf another chance to work things out. and she doesn’t want me to give up 5 years relationship for her, because it remind her of her 6 years bf who broke up with her.

    since then, i have been doing alot of stupid things to win her win her back. in short, it turn out really bad now. her image of me currently is like her ex who broke up with her 6 years ago. i don’t think she have any love for me anymore.

    however, i still love her. i know it is wrong to love 2 person at one time. i know my current relationship will go smoothly and have a good future together. now all i wish is just be like old time in that one month i can’t share things with each other.

    so.. mash, you can be very sure of your feeling at the moment. but one day, he might change or fall in love with another girl. so we must learn to accept each other. although your current bf doesn’t give you the love as much as the other, he still have other part of him you love. even if you choose another guy, one day you will still will find another person who can be better than him.

    July 30, 2014 at 12:11 am #62196
    Mash
    Participant

    HI David!
    Thank you for your reply and your story. I feel practically the same as you..

    The only difference is that I have relationship but he doesn’t, he’s alone for more than 1 year. He had told me a little about his last relationship before we falled in something deeper than just friends.. He said that he felt OK in this situation (without GF). Actually he’s very energetic, friendly and smiling person that’s why I loved him at first sight. Later he wrote that I changed his mind, he understand that he needs love and I’m the first girl from that time who made him feel in another way, happy..

    He wants to visit my city, to come someday. And I want it 2 but on the other hand I’m afraid. I don’t know what could happen if he comes.

    He made me think of my life in another way. Like is it my life that I live now? Is it what I want it to be? I’m a little older than 20 and my life is already like routine.. working all days, cooking, sometimes meeting with friends, sometimes going to the countryside, in few years I’ll marry my BF, will have a child or 2. And maybe it’s not so bad way to live but it’s routine, it’s like everybody live but are they happy? It’ boring, each day looks the same as another..

    I always wanted to travel a lot, to see different countries, meet interesting people, know another cultures and my friend has the same desire but my BF not. He’s always working, working a lot, he doesn’t like travelling though for me he tries to love it.

    Ahh that’s complicated question. I know it’s like two ways to choose: my soul and desire or confidence in 2morrow. My past experience made me need a lot in confidence so it’s gonna be very hard..

    Best regards.

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