I’ve never written a letter like this before. So I guess I should jump right in. I met a man January of 2013. We were online as friends and we started texting and we took off like a house on fire. Friends said we were like like teenagers texting and on the phone. We’re both adults in our late 40’s.

We met and we really hit it off. It was instant. Although due to what he told me was his work schedule we couldn’t get together as often as we liked. But we talked constantly and texted constantly. We told each other things and shared thoughts. I went through some very hard times. I was forced to move from my home and start over. All through this he was my always friend. Always kind, supportive, non judgemental and thought through his advice. He helped me find my confidence and self esteem.

In January he was forcibly retired. It was hard but he got through it. Then his band broke up. Then due to illness in his family his father was put in a facility for his own safety. All through this I did for him what he did for me. I tried to be his safe place to land. The kind word. I told him I knew his being an introvert was WAY different than myself and that I understood his need for hiding in his man cave.

All this being said fast forward to May of 2014. My friend and I have known each other for 15months and have seen each other maybe 10 times in total. Always on his lunch or at my place out in between us. We live about an hour from each other. We would have dates set up but he would cancel for one reason or another. In May I get a phone call from a women who asked me if I knew my friend and in shock for some reason I lied and said I didn’t. I asked him he said yes he knew her she was an old girlfriend that due to his recent job losses he was using her spare phone.

Then I get an email telling me he is closing his email accounts due to his depression and financial concerns and that he wants to reconcile his standing with his “wife” and that he was working on dropping the “ex”. Yes in the letter the words were in quotes. I asked many times of he was married. I told him I off he was separated I understood as I am also. He told me he was divorced.

Needless to say his email asked more questions than answered. I am broken hearted. At the loss of a friend and someone I fell in love with. I miss our daily silly emails. Stupid things and jokes only we got.

My friends mean well but the more fish in the sea and he was a jerk and you deserve better cliches aren’t helping.

Am I a fool? Did I ignore my red flag waving? I don’t know anymore. I’m afraid I’ll never feel that way about anyone ever again….