Kelli,

You use alcohol, blame – others and yourself like a drug to cope temporarily. You dont have a job, have a great deal of debt (how did that happen again?) and depend on your parents for finances – current situation.

The world is not out there to get you.

You need to grow up already – she’s doing her job and is just following the rules – forget the matter on dog rent – are you actually right on the lease matter? You had about 10 months to figure out another solution, didnt you? Werent you aware that the leniency of the previous manager was what made you get away last time?

How much will you escape from facing these problems head on, with their consequences?

The consequences at this moment would be that you will lose the apartment but there’s a bigger problem than that – its losing that sense of “control” you finally started to feel over the past few months, right? The apartment represented your independence and its loss is bringing back a lot of unpleasant feelings.

You, too are responsible for the loss.

But does beating yourself make any difference to the situation? Not really. Whats done is done.

Worst case scenario: You lose the apartment, crash into a friend’s place or go back to your parents temporarily. Try looking for a part-time job atleast – just getting auditions at acting classes is not going to start paying bills unless you have a major breakthrough.

Consider why you have such poor credit history? Lack of knowledge, bad luck, poor choices? Secondly, what can you do to “reduce” the debt? or better yet, stop incurring more and more?

Unless you really take some practical actions without always dipping yourself in internal drama, this is not going to get resolved -you can do all the yoga, meditation, spiritual classes you want and read a zillion tiny buddha articles, but unless you act like a responsible adult, you will not become one.

Dont waste your time brooding over the past – whats done is done. Now you have to face consequences, figure out sensible solutions given the present situation – if required, talk to your parents – ask them for advice on what you can do about this. The other members here will have new inputs to offer.

As for the guy Kelli, i dont understand why you’re letting one incident decide just a chunk of it – you were in a foul mood and whats the point of playing “doomsday” prophet when it goes out of line. Apologize sincerely and say you will behave better – that is really all you can actually do rather than sitting on your couch and crying.

Get up, stop blaming the world and yourself – do whatever you can to salvage the situation you are partly responsible for.

You’ll be okay – this is a tough time but it will make you stronger and wiser.

– Moon