Hello everyone,

I’m new to this site and I’m in search of something or some advice to help me through this really tough time. Several years ago my wife at the time started to make changes to her appearance and going out more often. Since we never spoke much, I made assumptions that she was looking for a “replacement”, then the arguments started and I would pick away at everything she did, even accusing her of having an affair. We did separate almost 2 years ago and I did date and had 2 girlfirends since but I was using them to upset my ex wife unknowingly, thinking it would somehow make me feel better. Beginning this new year I’ve been seeing a counselor, and reading Eckhard tolle’s books along with Don Miguel Ruiz. Then a light went off and i realized I was making mountains out of mole hills instead of having civil discussions. I was so hurt, angry and resentful I couldn’t see her attempting to make it work again. Now that I’ve seen where I went wrong, and I realized I’ve always loved her dearly but was hiding that love for fear of getting hurt and rejected. I’ve attempted to contact her and see if we can start over, but she says she’s closed that door and wishes me the best. I do love her so very much and feel that door isn’t quite closed unless I’m only clinging to hope. I don’t know where to go from here, she will only discuss issues pertaining to our 2 children and will have nothing to do with me because her friend has told me she’s quite hurt that I was dating while she was making an attempt to reconcile. I was so blind!!! I miss her and love her so very much and really hope for another chance. Where do I go from here?