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lost the love of my life

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  • February 18, 2014 at 8:49 am #51258
    Mark
    Participant

    Hi mike,
    I am impressed with your insights, your turnaround in awareness, and your ownership of your behavior.

    There is a step in ther 12 Step Program to make amends: http://www.12step.com/12steps/making-amends.html.

    I believe in that process to address any harm done, however inadvertent.

    A handwritten letter, U.S. Mailed to her would be a significant way of conveying how sincere you are. The words you used here should be a good basis of such a leter.

    I do believe that our mistakes in life can be viewed as opportunities for growth even though I say F*CK THAT whenever I do here that phrase, but it is true.

    Regardless of the outcome, you have become a more conscious and self aware man from this.

    Mark

    February 18, 2014 at 7:44 pm #51291
    mike
    Participant

    After reading your reply, I wrote a 3 page letter which describes how I felt from the beginning of our relationship, through our first major fight and how I made the first big assumption and how my mind skewed the truth to win the battle of egos and how all the negative thoughts ruined our marriage. I’m going to give it to my dad’s girlfriend since they speak fairly often and because I’m talking with her in between counseling sessions because she is impartial to the situation. I’ll let her read it and give me her opinion on when to have my ex read it.

    After four years of fighting and her trying to make things work, do you think there’s still a chance? She says she doesn’t love me anymore which burns like fire, and she wants to move on with her life. If this were your situation, would you keep fighting for her even though there will be a lot of hurt involved?

    February 19, 2014 at 8:24 am #51334
    Mark
    Participant

    I cannot answer your questions Mike. Only you can do that.

    I know myself. I know if someone says it is over then I walk away. I know I have the Avoidant Attachment style though. I have a friend who is an Anxious Attachment style and he hangs on and obsesses long after the relationship is over.

    I view relationships are self selecting, i.e. if it does not work then there is good reason why.

    I wish you the best.

    Mark

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