Dear Smita,
First a big hug. Know that you are not alone. Start a gratitude journal…every day write down one or two things that have brought you joy…good tea, bird singing, blue sky, a song, seeing a child smile. What comforts you? Make a list of what you like to do, a list of what you want to try and where you’d like to go. Don’t give your negative thoughts a voice…which is not to say you shouldn’t grieve your losses, but put them in their place…don’t give your power away to them.

If you want to, allow yourself to get counseling, visit with your Dr. and have an honest discussion about what’s going on. I’m starting over at 55, having lost everything…spouse, house, sense of place and community, that I thought would carry me into old age. I had to get help because deep down inside I wanted to survive…but I needed a life line. I got the proper medication and am getting counseling so that hopefully I can get off the meds, but they bought me time, time to sleep, time to cope. There’s no shame in that.

Treat yourself as your best friend…what would a best friend say to you? That you will be ok, that they are they for you, what can they do to help? Be that person for yourself if there truly is no one else. Eat well, sleep if you want to, cry if you need to. Try to go for at least a little walk outside. Coddle yourself, your heart is sick and that is valid!

You have been given the chance to recraft your whole life…you are free to go in any direction. Seize the opportunity to live the life you want and dream of. Nothing is holding you back but you.

Peace and blessings on your journey.

Hi Smita,

I am truly sorry to hear about your pain. I know that you must feel lost, but please believe that it is completely normal to feel this way and that you WILL make it through this difficult transition.
Just DONT GIVE UP.. I am not a doctor; however, in my own experience, I found medication to be a good way to start healing.
I was in the same position – my work and personal life was in such disarray that I didnt even recognize myself. I was too empty and had nothing to give anyone – not even myself. I had no energy to put towards improving my situation – I was starting to sink. And then, I started to fight – It took a few months, but I got help – my doctor found a medication that worked tremendously to ease my pain and anxiety. . I was getting sleep and finally had the energy to start picking myself up again. I also found that talking to someone about my situation helped a great deal.

After a while, I no longer needed the medication and have learned many invaluable things about myself. The pain that was once the darkest part of me is now what has created all of the light.

You will be fine – I promise. Just keep fighting. My thoughts and prayers are with you!

Take care,
-Annie