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I'm scared to meet her because of lack of confidence

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Viewing 5 posts - 1 through 5 (of 5 total)
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  • #49737
    andrew luc
    Participant

    Hello, I’ve met a girl a summer class last summer. Unfortunately we’ve
    Met at the end of the courses, we didn’t get to talk a lot so we’ve been
    Talking a lot in distance. we’ve had the idea to see each other face to face but
    There’s the problem, Ive never really have much of confidence I always expect
    The failures and Im not good at meeting the new people..

    #49741
    Kevin
    Participant

    Of course, everyone’s situation can’t be fully covered online, but I can tell you this. I’ve liked this girl since 7th grade, and I’m in 11th grade now. No one really knew that I liked this girl until I told someone coming into high school. To be honest, she was really friendly to me when she found out. Unfortunately, I was scared. I even denied to some people, including her, that I like her. At the end of the year, I finally admitted to her that I like her, but it was too late. I told her awkwardly, Fear held me back from multiple things, but this stung me the most. Halfway through freshman year, she started liking someone else. Now, she’s in the “party” group and has changed since I first liked her. A large portion of my freshman and sophomore year consisted of hope, depression, and regret.

    This year, I’ve felt like I had more confidence. Part of it was just learning from my mistake of letting fear get to me, but the other part of it is realizing that nothing is going to change for the better if I don’t do anything. A friend of mine suggested that I play guitar and sing happy birthday for her on her Facebook wall. I told him that it was social suicide and that I wasn’t planning on doing it. But as time passed by, I slowly changed my mind. I knew that she already didn’t like me, and half the school knew that I had a crush on her since freshman year (though, many may have forgotten by now). I decided to do it because:

    1) She already doesn’t like me, so I don’t have much to lose.
    2) “Do and say what you feel is right; those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” – Bernard B.
    3) Nothing is going to happen unless if I do something. Although I’ll probably be unsuccessful, I can tell myself that I did tried.
    4) I’ll never know if I never tried. I can tell myself that I’m done trying after this because I did all that I can, and there’s nothing I can do now.

    After I did it, the only thing I got was a “Thanks Kevin!” and a like on Facebook. I also heard she favorite it on twitter (which I don’t’ have). I thought it was going to turn out bad, but it ended up well. Although we don’t really talk, a lot of people commended me for having balls rather than talk about me as the shy dude who broke his shell. I felt better after making that video because I’ve done all that I can, although a couple years late. I didn’t want to ask myself “what if” for the next two years of high school like I did my first two. Trust me, it hurts more to wonder than to make a mistake. I’ve felt a lot more confident ever since, and it’s a lot easier to live with myself now.

    Sorry that this may be long, and that it may not apply to your situation. My main point is that you shouldn’t be afraid of trying. I’ve lacked confidence, and that was the biggest regret of my life. Once you make a mistake or start a flowing conversation, things will pick up from there. Starting the conversation might feel like jumping off a cliff, but I guarantee you that you won’t regret trying something, whether that be awkward, convenient, or even lucky!

    #49742
    memm
    Participant

    I fully agree with Kevin, from my experience also, regretting what you didn’t do is a lot worse than regretting something you’ve done.

    #49752
    kay
    Participant

    guess what ..everyone is scared…rejection is crap..but look at it this way..you meet ..you get along..or don’t…oh well..so it not like you knew her forever and than…you move on..don’t put so much emphasis on whether it will work..rather than an experience….you go out…mesh great..if not ..move on to meet someone else.

    #49758
    andrew luc
    Participant

    hi, well no it wasnt too long, it helped me seeing the regret i could have.. thanks a lot

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