To me, it sounds like the real you wants and is trying to come out, but the old you wont let it. It read as if there was a battle going on inside you and your ego was doing everything it could to keep itself alive and in control. You see the ego needs an identity for it have none means it would no longer exist and it cannot have that under any circumstances.

One night have an internal chat with yourself, reassure the inner child with in that you will be ok. That you love her and will protect her no matter what, they need not be scared of the future or need not worry, you will look after her and care for her and love her. Fostering a loving relationship with your inner child will help, I know it might sound corny an all but it really does, least for me it did. Listen to yourself, what is your self talk to yourself like? Is it negative? do you call yourself stupid, dumb, etc? Why? You’d never put up with that from anyone else, why do it to yourself? Your destroying this inner wisdom and force that knows what is good for you if only you would listen and let it speak from the heart.

You have to stop thinking. Compulsive thinking all the time will burn you out and left unchecked it will run rampant and damage you. Just stop!!! just turn off, learn to use your mind only when you need it. How? through mindfulness and meditation. Try and get into the mindset of using your mind only when you need it for something that requires thought. Start by looking at things around you. Just look at them for what they are, do not attach any meaning to them/it nothing, not even what it is called, just look at the shape of it and even at that do not say, OK that’s a circle, square. If you notice a thought, say “hey, I see you trying to sneak in the back door, get out of here mister!”

Poor diet = poor moods. Look up how a body deficient in magnesium can lead to all sorts of mental problems especially depression, conversely look up the benefits of talking a liquid supplement of it. I’ve been doing so for about 2 months now and feel 100 times better. It lifted my mood big time and I’ve not had any bad bad days, I’ve had a few days where I’ve been low but nothing like I used to be. You said your all for trying naturally to treat your depression, Please give it a ago. The one I use is called Sauls Liquid Magnesium, it tastes so good too, they use oranges, peach, lemons, grapefruit to the flavor so it tastes pretty damn good too.

Hi Maria… Your story is soooo similar to my own. I can’t believe at 43 as I just started researching in the last two months and after years of failed relationships that I wasn’t the only one experiencing anxiety and ruminating thoughts. I wanted to know how you are doing please? Keri

PS… Thank you Eric for the advice. The advice I have read in the last two months have all very similar suggestions and themes. It’s amazing. I wish I would of started this learning process years ago but I also know I can’t look in the past nor the future and remain in the present:)

Hi Teresa,
Trying to be in a relationship with anxiety and depression is tough. Medication, meditation and mindfulness seems to be a good approach in how to deal with such situation. I also would look into getting therapy so that you have guidance and support for your challenges.

I wish you well.

Mark