Jamie,

I’m sorry for the confusion and spinning, and know how disorienting the chaos of shifting experiences can become. What I see woman building her character, and doing it well. Its OK to be confused, that is natural and normal. Rather than assume you know or acting out of habit, you are taking the time to look deeply and attempting to act wisely. That’s awesome! A few things came to heart as I read your words.

Rather than a waste of time and effort with Slayer, consider that you followed your heart at each stage. In the adopting, the retrieving from the ex, in the returning to the ex. You really tried to follow your heart, and look for Slayer’s interests meeting your own. And now, you have the chance to keep him/her… without strings or conflict. How wonderful is that? The rest is wind in the trees. Let his social networking be tainted with his own negative energy, that’s between him, his karma, and anyone that chooses to believe delusion. You followed your heart, and what else could you do?

As for the new person, it is between you, your heart, him and his heart. Don’t pay attention to conventions or expectations, just follow your tender desires and ask him for his. If you need space or time to go slow, do it. Just don’t hide or cower, let him know… you have the right and responsibility to do what your heart tells you, and he has the responsibility to respect it. If you want to go fast, go fast. Just be tender, honest, open, and communicate. That is the basis of all intimacy, at whatever speed of growth you feel comfortable. Namaste.

With warmth,
Matt