Buddist Wife,

Thank you for your reply. I no longer am seeking answers from him. His actions don’t define me. I don’t need his validation. I don’t think he would view what he has done as using me. He is most likely to have the opinion that if I had never gave it to him he wouldn’t have it to take. That’s the way most users/takers think.

I agree. He has not been a friend. The only reason for my contacting him would be to offer an apology for my insensitivity. Nothing more, nothing less. This would be for my peace of mind also. I don’t know yet if I will offer an apology. If I do and if he doesn’t accept it, that’s on him.I have no eexpectations. would have done what I could. My friend says I apologize too much. Which is for the most part true, even when not at fault, but I felt this time it may be warranted.

I’m on the road to healing. Working on my people pleasing codependent ways. (Do you think my feeling a need to apologize is an aspect of this?) I’m on the road to being better to me. Thank you again Buddhist Wife for offering your opinion!