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Bad Family/Living Situation

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  • #417753
    Roberta
    Participant

    Dear Tennesse

    Wow you were so brave to call your mum out on her behavior.  I lived with my parents for many years and mum & I could fight even when we were on the same side! Our mums appear to hold onto a grudge and both use silence as a weapon even when the olive branch is offered. I moved out several times ( I own the property with my parents).

    I basically came back  fulltime (2016)to help mum when her cancer returned and dad has dementia.  She died peacefully in August 2021 with me at her bedside.

    On retreat in 2009 I realised that the chances of my mum changing were very slim so it was up to me to change how i think & cope with the situation.  Yes I fail many times, but the buddhist teachings have helped and continue to help me be a better happier, kinder & wiser.

    On a practical help. Have you looked into intentional communities , co-housing and or tiny houses? Also short term there is a site called workaway where you swap room & board for about 25hours a week work, the jobs and locations are varied so the world is your oyster.

    #417839
    appletreegarden
    Participant

    hi tennessee

    this sounds like a very hostile, cold and actually inhuman environment

    i have no ideas where you could move to or how at all… 🙁

    but when you come from a family like this, you really need a significant mental+physical distance to see things clearly. but your parents beliefs seem to be very strong / close to their core, so maybe neither of any of you can help here

    as Roberta mentions buddhist teachings or when you think of any monks/nuns: they seek distance to their old life, they don’t start meditation amidst of a turbulent city center or amidst of the sea. also you must truly care for yourself before you can truly help/care for others… and eventually some day including your parents…

    i really hope you can find a solution 🙁

    kind regards

     

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