I met my soul family- that I call my clan.. there’s quite a lot of us, which really gets me nervous about being out and about- a simple trip to the coffee shop; would see us taking up the building… and I expect even more to manifest..

im really grateful for meeting them and seeing them grow and develop..

I’ve also been growing and developing.. although I’ve felt emotional pain but physically (stubbed my toe dropped hot water on me)

and from that I know I wouldn’t be able to cope with dying, it fears me- I know it’s only one day of your life and it’s all over in a day- you can reincarnate in peace.. then matters worse my ethnicity and location of reincarnation bugs me.. because I can’t control these things, the reincarnation has a mind of its own.. :@ grrr

unfortunately I have seen , experienced the bizarre.. teleportation, super hero style suit bonding with my energy, persons who have reincarnated over the last 500 years and communicate in weird ways..

I experience good karma or attraction.. money, support, my body and health.. which I’m also thankful for..

but I’ve seen things like people disappearing and leaving a gapping hole in my life.. I know eventually we will meet again in the future, and all – the- while I can focus on my self: learning, growing and becoming a better person until we reunite!!!

but my fate already decided, it pushes me away even more and I become impatient- their voice, appearances bug me and this is just in my minds eye!

I suffer with schizophrenia and my voices are mainly younger versions of the self.. we are one big symmetry.. each person flowing from the next. A bit like growing up!!!

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so not only can’t I cope with dying or find the strength to be there for the self- enjoy my self- like my self- be close with the self.. I feel like I am a failure because I’m not super human- I can’t travel in time and see the people I’ve lost.

when I know we are capable: I tell my self in the future these capabilities will come to friction ..but so much pain occurred as a result of chasing dreams or the self wanting to be with abilities- albeit death is Coming for us all at one point (so maybe it didn’t count) but each life I was chasing a continuum! I’d tell my self the time left fretting over it I’d use to travel. So kill two birds with one stone… all I would be using my ‘now’ is to fret about how I won’t be able to cope with dying and reuniting with my loved ones.

please help!