Gumdrops,

There is a spectrum. If people are calling you cocky, perhaps you are not taking time to consider their views important. You say you “think you are right”, but do you give careful consideration of their views? Do you spend time researching or getting other perspectives on their concerns? You sound over confident to me, perhaps considering yourself more wise and clear seeing than you are. Even the tone of your message says “What is wrong with everyone around me, I’m of course correct and perfect, my parents agree with me.” Perhaps your parents aren’t the best ones to talk to about it, because often patterns are passed from parent to child, and you three may be too alike to provide real growth. Consider asking someone who calls you cocky to go into more detail about what they are seeing, and listen deeply to their responses.

Leaders are not meant to take charge and make the world according to their vision. That’s what dictators do. Good leaders consider all of the people under their charge, and attempt to find a path that is compromise, co-creative, and supportive of as many people as possible. Said differently, a good leader inspires people to become better versions of themselves, growing and blooming. A poor one commands others to paint the world in her way, and steps on creativity by cutting/ignoring/invalidating others’ opinions.

This isn’t having “no stand” but rather recognizing that a leader is a servant of the people she leads.

With warmth,
Matt

Gumdrops,

When you asked for help in expressing yourself, I felt an image of an upward turned hand catching a ball, looking at it, then compromising or setting it down. For instance “A bikini car wash might produce some extra revenue for prom (catch), but my concern is it would sexualize the boys and girls in bikinis, which doesn’t feel right (setting it down)”. Or “I hear the concern that chips arent as healthy as carrots (catch) and wonder if we could get whole wheat chips instead (compromise)”. Often it doesn’t matter if you adopt or reject the ideas, but that you make sure you say to the person who spoke them that the ideas are being genuinely examined for merit, and whatever you find valuable in the idea is reflected back. A simple “nope” might appear that you see no value at all.

When I ran an art studio, I often had to give artists what I referred to as a “shit sandwich”. Positive-negative-positive. Something you like, something that needs fixing, something you like.

Good luck!

With warmth,
Matt