I’m done…

I’m done with my co dependent behaviour

done with being blamed
done with being placed 3rd on priority list after football, family and video games
done with being the one that enabled this in the first place

done with being obsessed with him and thinking there’ll be no one better
done with trying to draw negative attention, because it’s better than no attention ( I know it isn’t)
done with being cursed at and being confronted with old mistakes every day every argument

done with his cheapness
done with his irrisponsible behaviour just because he has some savings (no job, education, nothing at 28)
done with him not being willing to adjust to my lifestyle schedule so I can healthily continue studies (always wants to dine at 11 at night, stuff like that)

done with the fact that everything I ask is replied to with a sigh and a ”I’m too tired” but when there’s something he needs to do for himself, it can be done instantly
done with his commitment phobia or whatever he has that makes him not wanting to live together, because my 1 bedroom apartmet is too small
done with the fact that in 3 years he hasnt put an effort in finding a nice bigger place for us to live, since my apartment is too small for him, so he continues living with his parents

done with the fact that we can never have a stable rythm, 1 week we eat together every day, the other week he comes over at 11 at night. if he comes over at all.
done with the fact that he is not excited to see me asap when something’s up, that he’s so smooth about it all, as if he doesn’t miss me at all
done with the fact that he doesn’t care for my important days, doesn’t care to join me

done with the fact that he has cheated on me so many times in the beginning of our relationship that now, whenever he’s busy on his cellphone messenger, I automatically assume it’s another one of his old flings
done with resenting myself for paranoia and b*tchy behaviour towards him because if this..

IM JUST DONE

Just needed to vent :$