Home→Forums→Emotional Mastery→Afraid of money
- This topic has 4 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 11 years, 3 months ago by HaveLipsWillSmile.
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August 23, 2013 at 2:07 am #41029KateParticipant
Hi everyone, I have been an avid reader of these forums for a while but I’m new to posting so please bear with me 🙂
I have been in a lot of debt in my life which am I’m now paying off slowly bit by bit. I have a lovely fiance and on paper we are comfortable with regards to our finances however, come payday I freak out at the sight of money in my account. I become anxious and worried for the month ahead and worry that our money won’t last long – even though all money for bills, food and petrol are all accounted for. I’m fed up of this feeling and want me and my fiance to be able to go out and enjoy simple things like going out for dinner without me worrying about how much money will be left over at the end of it. Its stopping me from enjoying life and its beginning to get me down.
How can I change the way I think to see money in a more positive light?August 23, 2013 at 3:45 am #41030BobParticipantGreeting Kate —
Being in debt, not having enough financial resources to throw my hands up quit work today along with wanting to do something special with my wife is not a decision I can make on the spare of the moment without looking at our bank account balance. Freaking out over money can destroy a good solid relationship with your fiance; in the long run things may not change for you. I strongly recommend open honest conversation, planning ahead, open another bank account for your ‘Dinner and Fun’ money and of course the two of you may need to set up a budget. Depending on how your income flows into your account, you can set up a payment plan that best suits you. I had to change my own way of paying my bills once I got married, I am a pay ‘until it hurts’ kind of guy.
Remind yourself of all of the things you HAVE in life that money just cannot buy, that is where your true wealth lies.
Once again do not allow money problems to rule or destroy your life. Be frugal, look for bargains but always be honest about your concerns. The majority of the people today who have to work for living and are not independently wealthy are in your shoes. Be well and walk in peace.
August 23, 2013 at 4:41 am #41031HaveLipsWillSmileParticipantAgree with Bob. Separate your accounts and allocate a pre-determined amount that fits with your budget for ‘fun & entertainment’. That way you know you definitely can’t dip into your bills money.
Remember though, there are many things you can do with your fiancé that don’t cost a thing but still allows you to spend quality time together. Find a nice bushwalk near you and spend a couple of hours checking out the scenery and looking at the beauty of nature. Or, take a blanket and watch the sun go down at your nearest beach, park or even from your own backyard. Take time to catch your breathe and be conscious of the thoughts you’re having. If you’re aware of a negative pattern re-occurring, learn to just stop. Clear your mind and carry on. Mindful meditation really helped me to clear my mind and feel more at peace. There’s a great Mindfulness app you can download for your iPhone, if you have one.
K
xAugust 23, 2013 at 8:44 am #41051KateParticipantThank you both, sorry I wasn’t clear enough in my first post – I do already have 2 accounts, one for our bills and the other for “fun stuff”. Its the latter that I get freaked out by and worry that we will run out by the end of the month even though it is “play money”. You are both right though, I need to focus on what I already have and also do things like go to the beach etc. I will definitely look into the mindfulness app so thank you for the suggestion.
August 23, 2013 at 5:07 pm #41075HaveLipsWillSmileParticipantLooking forward to hearing about your successes, Kate.
Best,
K
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